during pregnancy

Aunties In My Big Fat Indian (And Hindu) Community Are Way Too Involved With My Pregnancy

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Finally, there’s a family friend who tries to hand over her granddaughter whenever she sees me, reciting a Telugu saying which translated, means “If you hold a baby you’ll have a baby.” I last saw this aunty a couple months ago at a friend’s wedding. Apparently she left the wedding and decided that she wanted my husband and I to have a baby so badly that she was going to pray for us. She sat in front of her altar at home and recited some baby making Vedic chant 108 times so that we’d have a baby on her timeline.

When I initially heard this I was so pissed, and I still am, to some extent. This is my fucking womb and how dare she decide what is right for me? We had a miscarriage two years ago, and it took a long time to get to where we are today, including the grieving process, deciding we were finally ready, and dealing with anovulation related to PCOS. In fact it’s kind of a miracle that we are pregnant at all, because according to all the pee strips and blood tests, I wasn’t ovulating in the first place.

I wasn’t supposed to be able to have a baby, but according to my charts, two days after my aunt chanted 108 times, I conceived. I have no desire to attribute our little miracle to her busybody home puja! I’m going to see her this weekend and I’ve thought of a billion ways to put her in her place, but in the end, what can I say? I’m pregnant. And I’m happy about it. And I wanted this baby.

I’ve decided that rejecting my aunt’s prayers is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I can’t deny that having people care about me is a positive force in my life, no matter how intrusive and presumptive they can be. I have a bunch of Aunties who love me and want what’s best for me. It’d be nice if we could agree on what’s best for me, but in the meantime, I’ll just DVR my zombie shows and watch them in solitude.

(Image: Tumblr)

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