child development

I Refuse To Potty Train Until My Son Applies To College

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Ugh. I don’t even want to talk about the subject of potty training, but here I am writing a blog about it. Maybe you could call this the utmost in procrastination.

My son is a little over two years old, and thankfully, no one has given us the side-eye about missing the Potty Train just yet. With every other type of child training, I’ve always felt passionate about it.

I went hard on sleep training until I broke my children’s spirits so that they slept through the night. I encouraged motor development so that my son would roll over, crawl, and walk on time. I read up on toddler speak and independent play to try to curb some of his endless tantrums.

But potty training… There’s very little incentive in it for me. I know most parents say how they can’t WAIT until their kids are out of diapers so that they can save money and quit wiping asses. As for me, it’s not my favorite thing in the world to clean runny shit off a kid’s back, but most of the time, I don’t mind one way or the other.

I will qualify that by saying that I absolutely hate, hate, hate wrestling a toddler to the ground to change a dirty diaper because it’s not like I want to be doing it anyway. But I digress.

I have a handy little potty training book that I have yet to read. My toddler hasn’t shown any impressive interest in the toilet, other than pointing at his small potty and saying “poop.” We did have an ultra-cute moment where he sat on the little potty and jumped up over and over again to give me a hug. As adorable as it was, he still didn’t deliver the goods.

I’ve read some research that says that starting potty training too early only drags out the process. Also, some of my friends with boys say that it takes longer. So, I’m going with that as my lazy excuse. Boys take long to potty train, he’s not ready yet, and I have never seen a teenage boy graduate high school in diapers. I’m sure he’ll figure it out when the time’s right.

(Image: Renata Osinska/Shutterstock)