Anonymous Kid: Being Part Of A Polyamorous Family Around The Holidays Is The Worst

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Sadly, we have no “home” traditions, which makes me feel like a traveler and gypsy. I’ve never spent a single Christmas or Thanksgiving at home with my family. We don’t have traditions like opening gifts on Christmas Eve or morning. We don’t hang stockings on the mantle. We don’t go shopping together. We don’t decorate the tree together. We don’t have a sit down lunch or dinner at home. Instead, we spend the days leading up to Christmas traveling all up and down the coast or flying around the world to get to see all these partners and families.

The years where we traveled abroad to visit their partners and respective families were the most unusual. Picture being in a foreign country with a language you don’t understand and being around people you don’t know with foods you’d never eat. I made the best of it by turning each trip into a learning experience. So no, holidays abroad weren’t always awful – as long as I had an escape. I’m blessed to have been able to travel, and I enjoyed learning about new cultures and history. I guess for that I have something I can thank mom and dad for, but it doesn’t change the fact that holidays are usually vacuous wastes to me.

Holidays at home are equally awkward. I’ll start with my parents’ girlfriend’s family. I don’t see them enough to call them my family. I always felt out of place around them. My half-sibling is their bio grandkid, so they dote on her. I felt like the step-grandkid or adopted grandkid who never adjusted. I called my sibling’s grandparents and all relatives, Mr. and Mrs./Miss/Ms. or by their first names. Those were her aunts, uncles, and cousins. They were my parents’ “in-laws,” and it always made me wonder…what did that make me? The kid who was part of a package deal when their girlfriend joined the family. They were cordial towards me, but they don’t call me to hang out, call me on my birthday, or anything of that nature. There’s no one close to my age in their girlfriend’s family. It’s like younger than me or older than me. I never had anyone to talk to during those holidays. Thanks be to the pearly gates that I don’t have to spend another day with them.

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