mom fun

8 Places Other Than The Toilet Where You Might Pee While Pregnant

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shutterstock_125769551I was a pretty lucky pregnant lady both times around. I never threw up, I did not swell at all and I was mobile and physically healthy the entire time. There was really not much I could complain about but there was plenty I could laugh at and the thing that makes me laugh the most looking back is all the times I nearly pissed myself. I think many pregos can relate, amirite? There are so many places you might pee while pregnant. You’re just hanging out, minding your beeswax, perhaps arguing with someone over the merits of Dursting vs. Attachment Parenting, when BOOM! Fetus karate chop to the bladder and your small clothes are drenched.

There were so many times when I was pregnant and the budding life within me knocked the wind out of my sails and temporarily soiled my stretched-out Motherhood Maternity jeans. This list is inspired by some of those times and also, by times I imagine it could have happened to me had the situation presented itself. Feel free to add your own in the comments because I may be a 32-year old mother of two with a professional job and a mortgage but I still love a good story of bodily functions gone awry!


1. While in line at the grocery store.

I can only speak for myself on this but when I had to Pregnant Pee, sometimes the urge would literally come out of nowhere and I would go from not having to go at all to full-on waddling to the pot cursing myself for not doing more Kegals (not sure those even help with pee holding) and trying my hardest not to release an ocean of urine. I can’t think of a worse place for this to happen than in line to pay for a heaping cart of groceries. Bonus points if you have your miserable toddler with you!


2. Anywhere you are when you happen to sneeze.

Ah, the dreaded Sniss. This happened to me more times than I could count and bonus, I caught a lousy cold while pregnant with my daughter and the snissage was out of control. I was about to invest in some lovely grown-up diapers when it finally went away. The cold, not the urge to pee my pants at just about anything.


3. In the pool.

We all already know that most people do pee in the pool at some point in their lives but think of how often pregnant people probably do this. I never really had the chance as my son was a winter pregnancy and with my daughter, I really only swam in our own pool that was 15 feet from our house so I could never justify pissing in it. But don’t think for a minute that I didn’t consider it..sweet relief, indeed.


4. The shoe store with your cousin who always makes you laugh hysterically and you are about 1000 miles from the nearest bathroom.

I know this one is pretty specific but the message applies to all.  DO NOT go out in public while heavily pregnant with someone who has a serious talent for making you laugh unless you have a set of Depends in your purse or a full change of clothes. It’s just common sense. And as for me, suffice it to say, I could not show my face in DSW for several months. All those expired $10 off coupons!

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