Token Conservative Woman Thinks Feminists Are Ruining College For Men

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female college student and peersFor the last several years, women have eked out a slight majority on college campuses. Of course, in order for a woman to earn as much of a salary in her future career as a man with a bachelor’s degree would earn, she needs to get a PhD. Women with bachelor’s degrees can expect to earn only as much as men who start but never finish college. It takes a very special kind of person to look at that data and say, “How unfair! Why aren’t there more men going to college?” And today, that special person is special conservative snowflake Phyllis Schlafly.

Schlafly is worried. She is professionally, enthusiastically worried about those poor boys who aren’t going to college, but also about the poor girls who do. The roughly 55%-45% split of women and men in college isn’t doing anyone any favors, you see, and we need to put things to right. As Salon reports, Schlafly opened her mouth to World Net Daily to discuss the matter, whereupon bats, sulfur fumes, and an explanation riddled with tortured logic fell out.

First of all, Schlafly raises the very important question of dating. If there are more women than men on campus, who are all those girls going to date? How are they supposed to get their MRS degrees if there aren’t any men of marriageable quality around? (There can’t possibly be another reason women would want to go to college other than to meet their future lawfully-wedded husband.) And worse yet, with the demand for hot co-ed man meat outweighing the supply, male students might angle for – dare I write this? – hook-ups, instead of primly courting the first potential spousal material they meet in Calculus I. (Haha, just kidding! Women in calculus class! That’ll be the day.)

While she’s worried that excess estrogen on campus will skew the dating game, Schlafly also has concerns about the consequences of having too many targets, excuse me, female students around:

The imbalance of far more women than men at colleges has been a factor in the various sex scandals that have made news in the last couple of years.
First of all, Phyllis, they’re not ‘sex scandals’, they’re ‘rape scandals’. And now that we’ve got that straightened out, let me congratulate you on taking victim-blaming to a whole new level. It’s not attackers’ faults, they’re just too tempted by being surrounded by ladies all the time! Wow.
While Schlafly apparently feels that boys are actually making smart decisions by not going to college (“Boys are more likely than girls to look at the cost-benefit tradeoff of going to college.” – unlike those dumb broads who just go for funsies, I guess), she still feels that this is a problem that has to be addressed – preferably by regulatory intervention, just to put the hypocrisy cherry on this shit sundae. In fact, Schlafly, who once penned a screed about the evils of affirmative action, had this to say about how male-female ratios could be equalized:
So, what’s the solution? One solution might be to impose the duty on admissions officers to arbitrarily admit only half women and half men.

Affirmative action for minorities or women: a great evil that must be stopped! Affirmative action for dudes: sign me up! As we all know, inequity is only a problem if it disadvantages, or appears to disadvantage, the menfolk.

Her other genius strategies for equalization involve 1.) ignoring Title IX rules and offering more sports opportunities to men, because god knows there are probably millions if not billions of guys out there who would be going to school if it meant they got to play golf wearing school colors; and 2.) eliminating college loan programs, which will cause greater numbers of men to be enrolled because mumble mumble cough mumble.

I haven’t even gotten into the fact that this article was written in response to a New York Times article that, if it were a person, would be starting kindergarten this year; nor how metrics where boys succeed are used to explain their being better ‘suited’ to academic work while girls’ successes are looked at as anomalies. Instead, I am choosing to spend the rest of my day talking to someone with more worthwhile things to say – namely, my one-year-olds, who have recently learned how to make farting noises with their mouths.

(Image: Syde Productions/Shutterstock)