Gisele’s Rubbing Her Maternal Perfection In All Of Our Faces Again

shutterstock_122444701Postpartum supermodels – is there a crueler image for a hugely pregnant woman to see? I think not. Some postpartum photos of Gisele – strutting her stuff in a string bikini four months after giving birth and with her baby strapped to her chest – have surfaced online. I now have a totally unattainable image of maternal perfection to tape to my fridge.

Obviously, I don’t really think Gisele is rubbing anything in our faces. I’m pretty sure she’d rather not be photographed while hanging out on the beach with her family. Gisele is just being Gisele – a gorgeous new-mom supermodel whose body looks better after giving birth twice than mine did at 18. Whatev. There are just so many things about these photos that are stabbing me straight to my soul.

The Ergo, for one. She’s wearing the Ergo. I love the Ergo baby-carrier. It’s the most comfortable one I tried. It has the right amount of support and my child was always really comfortable in it. I, on the other hand, looked like a linebacker when I donned that carrier. I turned away from vanity to assure that my child would have a comfortable way to be carried around. Seriously. I literally turned away from the full length mirror in our house every time I walked out the door with my child in that thing.

The comfort and ease that she emits, just gliding around the beach in a tiny bikini with her child strapped to her chest has given me some serious motivation. I want to feel that way. It is pretty much the exact opposite of how I feel right now: huge, slow, cumbersome. I’m also pretty sure my gestating child’s favorite position is slammed up as far toward my lungs as possible. I can’t walk across the yard without losing my breath. It’s very glamorous.

I’ve always found Gisele to be a little smug regarding motherhood. But God – who wouldn’t be if you looked like this? Damn you genetic make-up and shitty willpower! Ugh.

(photo: s_bukley/

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