People Doing Weird Things With Babies’ Feet in Stock Photos
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Is there anything in the world as cute as a baby’s feet? (That was a rhetorical question, put down your hand and that picture of a baby cow.) Among all the things adults squeal over, few things are as universally beloved as a pair of baby feet. Baby feet have made Hemingway famous and Anne Geddes rich, and in the shadow of those luminaries, an army of stock photographers has risen to make their own contributions to the genre of “baby feet as art.”
Some of these attempts are more successful than others. Here are 11 examples of people doing weird things with babies’ feet in stock photos.
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Three feet in bed
(OcusFocus/iStockPhoto)
The stock photo databases of the world are full of hundreds of variations on this photo, with different parents, different babies, and different photographers. None of them change the fact that this means someone’s baby is way down at the bottom of the bed under a blanket.
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Daisy toes
(yaruta/iStockPhoto)
Whoever got three small children to lie quietly in matching shorts with daisies stuck in their toes deserves a Pulitzer in toddler-wrangling.
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Very careful tchotchke balancing
(Eleonora_os/iStockPhoto)
”Nobody move! Don’t even breathe! If the baby wakes up he’ll knock this heart-shaped tchotchke out of place and the whole shot will be ruined. …. *Click* There! This is it, this is my masterpiece!”
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Heart feet
(RomoloTavani/iStockPhoto)
Buckle in, guys. There are so many variants on “baby feet heart hands” it has its own stock photo database search line. This is one in-demand photograph motif. I’m genuinely considering quitting my job and devoting myself to Photography. My studio will be called Baby Feet Heart Hands Photography, just for search-engine optimization purposes.
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Nesting heart feet
(PHDG/iStockPhoto)
It’s just baby feet heart hands all the way down.
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Messy feet
(Liudmila_Fadzeyeva/iStockPhoto)
Guess who is going to be picking flower petals out of the carpet for the next 18 years?
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Sand feet
(tranac/iStockPhoto)
“OK, everyone stand perfectly still, now carefully leap far enough out of the frame that there are no other footprints in the way.”
The fact that the mother’s prints are kind of crumbly will be a wedge in this couple’s marriage for years. In 18 years this couple will be in counseling and the dad will shout, “You couldn’t even keep your feet straight for a footprint photo! It’s a footprint photo! You had one job: Make a footprint!” And mom will leave dad for a sexy, slightly younger college professor, and the two of them will Eat Pray Love their way across Italy and walk barefoot in the sand and share macarons in Paris and get matching black and white wide-brimmed sun hats and be fabulously chic and happy forever.
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Sand feet (heart variant)
(emeliemaria/iStockPhoto)
After the divorce, this is what dad will dedicate the rest of his life to. This one here will be his masterpiece. He’s finally happy, and it’s all been worth it.
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Giant shoe baby
(NatanaelGinting/iStockPhoto)
Shit. This one got me. I can’t snark about baby giant foot. I love him. He’s so small! And his feet are so big! My whole face is just heart emojis right now.
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Toe-eating
(Sasiistock/iStockPhoto)
Oh my god, he’s eating his own little baby toes! Squee! I’m dead. Someone let me cuddle this baby, even though he’s probably 24 by now.
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