Clever Neighbor Terrorizes Posh Kids Salon By Hijacking Name For Their Wifi In A Very Unfortunate Way

logoThe owner of Lulu’s combination kid’s hair salon and toy store is not happy – in fact, she’s downright frantic. One of her neighbors is an evil genius who hijacked her store’s name for his/her wifi router. This person then named the connection with something that would horrify any children’s salon owner:

“Lulu’s Anal Bleaching For Kids.”

Okay, so the joke isn’t very funny in and of itself – but it’s a little hilarious if you have some context. This is a part of Brooklyn that is very gentrified and very expensive. The Park Slope parent is the basis for most stereotypes of the entitled Brooklyn breeder bunch. They will definitely not find this funny. Gawker got a hold of a post the owner made in her neighborhood’s Google Group:

Unfortunately someone near by has named their WiFi a really awful name referring to my shops, “LuLu’s Anal Bleaching for Kids”. I’ve tried calling Time Warner and Verizon and they can’t seem to help. I have reached out to the 78th Precinct and my lawyer, but they can’t help either because I don’t know who it is. You can see the Network from both of my establishments, you can see it on your smart phone from my stores, my house, or standing in front of 417 & 426 Bergen Street as well as across the street. This is really disturbing and I’m lost to what to do without knowing who it is. Any other ideas on how to handle this?

I have no idea how to help you, Brigitte, and agree this is very unfortunate. I do, however, wish that I had this idea myself when I was living over an Italian restaurant that decided to randomly turn into a rave-club on the weekends and also turn off my heat in the middle of winter because their customers were “warm.” I had a newborn at the time. I can’t believe I just typed the words “rave-club.” Why hello, middle age, how are you?

Anyway, sorry about your business name being bastardized but whoever this person is really brought the wi-fi name-game to a whole new level. Methinks many more stores in the vicinity are going to start having similar problems.


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