15 Signs Your Partner Will Get Lucky Tonight

Being a couple with kids can add many challenges to grown-up adult fun sexytimes, because kids are amazingly great at doing many things, including sensing when the adult humans who care for them wanna have alone time and interrupting them. It’s one of the many skills children possess, along with breaking stuff and smearing peanut butter on things. Parents having sex isn’t some bizarre notion, because it’s how you got yourself these kids to begin with. But parents having sex can be tricky to accomplish, because kids tend to suck away all your energy and need really stupid things, like being fed and being looked after so they don’t start any fires. Also, when you have kids you tend to spend a lot of your time focusing on these things, so you may miss many of the verbal and non-verbal cues your significant other is giving you when they want to have sex with you. Here are some signs to help you determine this.

There Are No Small Children Asleep In Your Bed 

There Isn’t A New Episode Of Breaking Bad On Tonight 

 They Have Changed Out Of The Cotton Bleached And Re-Bleached Menstrual-Panties 

 They Brushed Their Teeth 

No One Has Exclaimed They ‘Are Bloated’ 

They Have Not Invited Anyone Over To Watch The Game

None Of The Kids Have A Fever 

There Are No In-laws Visiting

None Of The Toilets In Your House Have Overflowed 

You Have Put On Lipstick

No One Has Had To Clean Up Dog Puke 

Or Child Puke 

The School Did Not Call Requesting An ‘Emergency Parent Meeting’ 

 Orange Is The New Black Season Two Hasn’t Started Yet 

The Locks On Your Bedroom Door Are Not Broken

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