Childrearing

Parents Are Going Full Crazy And Crowd-Funding Their Kids’ Birthday Parties‏

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birthday party

In yet another sign of the End of Days, we now have parents crowd-funding their kids’ birthday parties. Yes, you read that right. I didn’t think birthday party insanity could get much worse than sending an invoice for a no-show kid, but I should have known better. Using the same tactics as those raising funds for a family who lost their home to fire or a child with end-stage leukemia, crazy parents hope to raise enough money for an extra-incredible, super-memorable party for their Special Snowflake. You guys might want to prepare for your eyes to roll all the way into the back of your head. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

From ABC News:

Depending on who you ask, it’s either the smartest way to throw a birthday party on a budget or it’s the worst possible representation of keeping up with the Joneses.

Either way, it’s a real thing: Parents are using crowd funding to pay for kids’ birthday parties.

One such fundraiser on GoFundMe reads: “My pumpkins 2nd birthday is coming around faster than i could ever imagine. I managed to throw an amazing 1st birthday for [name omitted] and would like to follow through with an amazing 2nd birthday for my blue eyed princess!!. . due to a series of unfourtunate [sic] events in our lives recently money is tight. . every dollar helps!! thank you in advance for any donations made <3”

Well ABC News, I fall into a category you did not include and that would be “Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ, are you kidding me?!” I am positively stunned that this is a thing. Honey, your “blue-eyed princess” has no fucking idea what’s going on at the ripe age of two. If money is tight, I think her toddler standards will be completely met by a cupcake with a candle stuck in it and a couple of balloons. I can’t even imagine the thought process that leads to a parent deciding to request DONATIONS for a toddler birthday party. If you can’t afford a big shebang, how about this-don’t have one!

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