Childrearing
How To Parent Like A Juggalo
(via: Faygoluvers.net)


Telling me to kill myself…how original!


Nope, this isn’t in any way proving my point!


Technology, how does that work?
But what does it take to be a Juggalo parent? Juggalo parenting goes way beyond simply dropping out of the third grade to start a meth lab. No, to mold a proper Ninja or Ninjette, you need to truly commit to the Juggalo lifestyle, or risk committing that most heinous of crimes – creating a Jugga-ho. *Shudder*
So how can you ensure that your little ninja will forever be down with the clown? Remember these rules:
1. The Juggalo Army Is Never Full
A true Ninjette makes an Olympic sport out of teen parenting. Any Lette’ worth her salt should easily have popped out two or three mini-ninjas by the time she graduates high school. Ha ha! Just kidding, Juggalos don’t go to high school! Juggalo breeding is like the Quiverfull movement, except instead of breeding arrows for god’s army, they’re breeding soldiers for ICP’s meth army. Those meth-amphetamines aren’t gonna sell themselves.
2. Faygo: It Does A Body Good
Faygo is the sweet, diabetes-inducing nectar of life. A good Juggalo parent will start their Jugga-babe on this magnificent mana from heaven as early as possible, not counting the obvious consumption in utero (a dedicated Ninjette will start douching with her favorite flavor moments after taking a pregnancy test). Who needs baby formula when you have over 50 flavors of sticky goodness to put in your baby’s bottle? Nothing is more beautiful to a Ninja than a newborn covered in Faygo and second hand meth smoke. Speaking of meth…