being a mom

Open Thread: What’s The Best Lie You’ve Ever Told Your Kid?

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you sit on a throne of lies ELF

The greatest thing about kids is that they believe everything adults tell them. Well, second greatest. Obviously, the first greatest thing about them is their precious little faces starring up at you. But after that, it’s definitely the fact that you can tell them anything that you want and they’ll buy it hook, line and sinker. (Hoku, anyone?)

I’m a grown woman now and I’m still trying to unravel the web of lies my parents told me as child. And please note, I’m not talking about malicious lies here. I’m talking about the lies that parents tell their kids because they love them and don’t want them to get hurt and all that other mushy gushy stuff.

While they told me many, many lies over the years, a few of my very favorites include:

  • “Of course I love watching you play soccer. And no, I don’t mind that the coach only puts you in for three minutes. Sitting on a cold, metal bench when it’s freezing out is what I wanted to be doing anyways.”
  • “Yes, I would love to read that book to you for the 400th time! Get over here and let’s see if that little engine is going to make it tonight.”
  • “As long as you feel comfortable wearing corduroy pants to your first school dance, that’s all that matters. #innerbeauty.”
  • “My, my, my, what a kind and generous tooth fairy you have! ONE WHOLE DOLLAR! Put that in your savings account for college.”
  • “You’re legally only allowed to eat one Kraft single a day. So you can go in that fridge if you want, but I’m not bailing out when the cops come.”

So with my parents’ bold lies out in the open, I want to hear the best lie you’ve ever told your kid. Go!

(GIF: Tumblr)