My Daughter Self-Identifies As â€˜Not Popularâ€™ And I’m Very Comfortable With That
All this time Iâ€™ve been looking out for inappropriate words in books, movies and television shows that had to do with sex, when in front of me all this time is the most awful word in the human language. That word, as you will find out as parents, is not “penis” or “sex” or even “sperm,” but the word â€œpopular.â€
My daughter is not popular. I know this because she told me she wasnâ€™t. I found this fascinating, having this conversation with my 9-year-old, so I asked, â€œHow do you know youâ€™re not popular?â€
My daughter answered, â€œBecause no one crowds around my desk.â€ So, in grade four, you know youâ€™re popular when a group of classmates crowd around your desk. Itâ€™s that simple.
Last week I ran into a friend whose daughter is also friends with mine. I told her that she should bring her daughter by for a playdate.
â€œThat would be great,â€ she answered and continued stating the fact that her daughter â€œhas only two friends. Weâ€™re working on that.â€ Her daughter even told her she was like the character in one of the books she was reading. â€œNot the popular one, but the other one who has no friends,â€ her daughter said to her. My friend said she almost cried when she heard her daughter say this. I, too, almost cried when my daughter told me she was only popular for â€œlike, two secondsâ€ when she brought in photos of her new baby brother. â€œThen everyone crowded around me.â€
Thankfully, when I asked my daughter if she cared about being popular, she answered, â€œNo, I donâ€™t care.â€ Which is good, because as Iâ€™ve explained to her, one doesnâ€™t need a ton of friends. One only needs a handful of good, nice friends. She doesnâ€™t quite get why the popular girls in her class are popular because they are also the mean girls.
â€œIf theyâ€™re mean, then why do people like them?â€ she asked.
What and how is a mother to answer?