This $85 Nordstrom Rock Is the Perfect Gift for the Dumbest People on Your Shopping List

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(Via Nordstrom)

Is it too late to update the official Mommyish Gift Guide of stuff moms want for Christmas? Because there’s still time to shop, and the gift of the year has just been discovered: A rock in a bag from Nordstrom, and it costs $85.

That’s not a joke, Nordstrom is really selling a rock for $85.  It’s not even a special rock. It’s a roughly oval rock, about four and a half inches long, three inches wide, and two inches deep. But that can vary, because these are genuinely just rocks. To make them fancier, someone sewed them all little leather pockets to sit in. They don’t hang, or hook to anything, though. It’s really just a plain rock in leather underpants. This is even dumber than that time Starbucks sold a $50 gift card for $200.

Even Nordstrom doesn’t seem to know why it is selling these rocks or what they are for.

“A paperweight? A conversation piece? A work of art? It’s up to you, but this smooth Los Angeles-area stone—wrapped in rich, vegetable-tanned American leather secured by sturdy contrast whipstitching—is sure to draw attention wherever it rests. A traditional hardening process gives the leather a beautiful ombré effect. Like all Made Solid leather pieces, this one is cut, shaped, sewn and finished by hand in artist Peter Maxwell’s Los Angeles studio. Using vintage leatherworking tools and traditional saddle-stitching techniques, Maxwell aims to create beautiful designs that embody both simplicity and functionality, and that develop rich character and patina over time.”

It’s up to me? For $85 I think it should be up to you. You’re the one trying to sell a rock for $85. It’s on you to make this look attractive.

Maybe the bewildered ad copy gives away the purpose of the Nordstrom rock. Maybe the $85 Nordstrom rock was never meant for sale at all. Maybe it was created as a fake product to test prospective copy writers.

“You want to write catalog copy for Nordstrom? Great! Just send us a resume and a writing sample in which you create copy for this rock in a pouch that costs $85.”

“Why would anybody buy that?”

“Because of the wonderful, convincing ad copy you’re going to write if you want this job.”

People used to keep “pet rocks” as gag gifts in the 70s. Maybe this is a purebred pet rock.