Non-Stop Baby-Making Sex Is The Worst Kind Ever

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bad sexSex became a job instead of being fun and easy.” That’s how Khloe Kardashian describes “baby-making sex” – you know, sex for the sole purpose of making a baby – in the latest issue of New! magazine. And for the first time in the history of reality television, I agree wholeheartedly with a Kardashian. In fact, I couldn’t have said it better myself! That’s because baby-making sex is the worst kind ever. And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

Here’s the deal: sex in general is awesome. It’s fun and and exciting and, well, it feels really fucking good (or at least it should). But when you’re doing it for the sole purpose of procreating, sex just becomes another thing on your giant to-do list. That’s right, the one thing that’s supposed to relax you and make your problems disappear has the opposite effect. It’s stressful and tedious and, frankly, it becomes one of those things you actually have to “schedule in” – kind of like getting your teeth cleaned. Or summer highlights.

When Khloe Kardashian, 27, called it a “job,” she wasn’t kidding. Rumor has it that she and NBA husband Lamar Odom have been trying to conceive via IVF, though she tells New! they’re actually trying the old-fashioned way. Regardless, anyone who’s ever had problems getting pregnant will relate to her sentiment. Because as we’ve mentioned before on this very site, there’s no greater buzz-kill in the bedroom than a basal thermometer.

When you’re actively trying for a baby, you can forget about those spur-of-the-moment romps in the sack. You see, baby-making sex is all about timing. It’s about ovulation. Sure, you might be having more sex than usual, but it’s hardly “hot” sex. It’s more like, “You better come inside of me now and you better not have jerked off earlier today or I will rip your balls off” (at least that’s how one friend put it when I asked her describe sex with her partner after a rather stressful year of trying).

Another friend shared with me that her husband felt so much pressure to “perform” and so she had to pretend that she was into it when, really, she wanted to be done with it so that she could prepare a snack and watch Californication. (This is a busy working mom we’re talking about.)

“You try and act like you’re into it so that your partner will ejaculate as quickly as possible,” she explains, adding, “You’re doing it because you’re on a mission – there’s no romance involved.”

Then, of course, there’s the whole catch-22 of actually trying to enjoy yourself while being consumed with making a baby (and all the “what ifs” that go along with it). “You try and relax because you’re supposed to relax, but there’s nothing relaxing about it. You’re sticking to a schedule as opposed to just listening to your body,” is how the same friend puts it.

The good news is that there are lots of ideas out there for easing some of the pressure and making sex fun again. The bad news is that sex and demand is anything but sexy.

(Photo: altafulla/Shutterstock)