being a mom
No Big Deal: The Phrase That Revolutionized My Parenting
Every time a celebrity releases a book about their extreme parenting method, I wonder what Â I, a normal, non-celebrity mother, would write. What would be my bookâ€™s theme; my parenting mantra, if you will.
Â My first thought was that my book would be, Parenting: Itâ€™s All About ModerationÂ but that gives away the whole conceit in the title. Plus, it isnâ€™t extreme enough. So I, random internet lady, have decided to name my as yet unwritten parenting manual No Big Deal: How The Simple Phase Revolutionized My Parenting.
“No Big Deal” was not an intuitive mantra for me. For the first two years of my older sonâ€™s life, I was an anxious, nervous wreck. Like many first-time parents, I was so consumed with how I might screw everything up that it didnâ€™t occur to me to think I might actually be doing something right. I was overwhelmed by all the things I â€œshouldâ€ be doing like enrolling my infant in the â€œrightâ€ classes, having him adhere to a strict schedule, and making my own (organic) baby food. It was hard for me to just enjoy my son and my new identity as a parent.
But constantly worrying about anything and everything was exhausting. It was annoying. It was time-consuming. But, most importantly, it was no fun. And it wasnâ€™t good for my son, me or my marriage. So I made a conscious decision to change how I parented. I wanted to have fun but I didnâ€™t know how â€“ how were other parents able to enjoy parenthood and their children? How did they manage to not be constantly overwhelmed? How did they remain calm when things didnâ€™t go their way?