Let’s Raise A Glass To Nigella Lawson’s 70-Second Divorce Hearing

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nigella lawsonNigella Lawson may have reportedly been “devastated” by the demise of her decade long marriage to Neck Grabber Charles Saatchi, but her lawyers handled this divorce in record time. Like in the time it takes for you to effectively burp your baby.

The Guardian reports that Nigella’s divorce hearing lasted a whopping 70 seconds in London at the high court. Nigella and her low-life abuser of a husband were not present, but their speedy lawyers were.

Although it was reportedly Charles who deemed the marriage over after his wife failed to defend his abusing ass from the press onslaught………(just let that sink in), her petition is sound:

Saatchi, 70, and Lawson, 53, will now have to wait for a decree absolute, which is usually issued six weeks later and ends the marriage.

Court papers show that Lawson petitioned for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, which, according to the documents, was continuing.

Obviously, not being interested in a dime of her husband’s money (or needing to bother with any sort of custody arrangement) made for quicker proceedings. But not wasting any more time on wrapping up the loose ends of an otherwise toxic relationship is a cheers moment for Nigella’s legal team. Seventy seconds is all this seemingly abusive excuse for a marriage ever needed. Nothing more to see here.

(photo: landmarkmedia /