I’m Sad That Nigella Lawson Is Sad That Her Abusive Husband Is Divorcing Her

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Nigella Lawson seen at the family homeNigella Lawson, who was pictured with her seemingly abusive husband’s hands around her neck in full view of a restaurant, is getting divorced. Charles Saatchi released a statement to the public about the end of their marriage. And apparently Nigella is “devastated” by this news. Oh, honey, no, no, no. Do not go Rihanna on us.

Nigella has reportedly been staying with family ever since she and her husband had a “playful tiff,” according to him. And despite her husband’s on-camera abuse, Nigella hoped to “work things out.”  Say whhaaaa? A “source” tells Us Weekly that Nigella is down in the dumps about her nearly 10 year marriage — to an abuser — being over:

“She moved out, she needed a break, she needed to think, to be apart from him, but in no terms did they break up or even discuss the D-word,” the insider says. “She didn’t expect him to pull this move.”…

“Before all of this, their relationship was certainly strained, but they were always working on it,” the source explains, citing her job in America as a point of contention. “There were a lot of things wrong with their relationship, but Nigella was always hopeful that they could fix things, that he would change, that they could get along without arguing.”

“She’s devastated,” the insider adds. “Their family is falling apart, and she can’t control the situation.”

While I don’t expect victimized Nigella to be throwing I Just Left My Abusive Partner parades and wearing soon to be Mommyish patented “I Just Left My Abusive Partner” shirts just yet, I find her “devastation” to be soul-crushingly disheartening.

Nigella! This is good news! It is GOOD news that your abusive husband is ditching you! Bear in mind, this is the man who said — to the public!– that he had his hands around Nigella to “emphasize” his point. It blows that you had to invest almost 10 years of perhaps your only mortal life in a relationship with someone who was so brazen as to grab your neck, but you’re getting out! You’re free! You DO NOT need to work marital shiz out with a partner who equates straight up abuse with a “playful tiff.”

Obviously, Nigella is concerned about her two children, Cosima and Bruno, from a previous marriage. She is reportedly hoping that “they don’t get hurt in all of this.” And the best way to ensure that is to put as much space between them/you and Charles “The Neck Grabber” Saatchi as possible. Nigella, I will throw a divorce party for you.