I Never Got To Say Goodbye To Alcohol, And Other Confessions Of A Newly Pregnant Person
The first thought that popped into my mind when I saw the “positive” sign on my First Response Early Result pee stick? “Wow, so that happened a lot faster than I anticipated.” I was shocked, ecstatic, amazed, and bouncing off the walls. The second thought that occurred to me? “Wow, so now I stop drinking. For a long time. BUT…BUT…BUT I NEVER SAID GOODBYE TO ALL THE WINE.” As someone who was recently diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and as someone who adores a glass of wine (or three) nearly every day, I had a lot to process the day I found out I was pregnant.
Now, of course I am able to give up the alcohol. I even politely smiled when my husband shared his glee over having a “DD” this summer (just kidding, I totally rolled my eyes and made the jerk-off motion). I am capable of having a fun time sans booze, I just don’t usually like to do so if I have the choice. After realizing what a long, hot summer it was going to be for yours truly, a rapid-fire series of other realizations began to dawn on me. I’m sorry, that’s not entirely accurate. A rapid-fire series of other realizations began to smack me in the face. Hard.
You see, my husband and I have been together for almost eight years. We’ve been married for one. We’ve lived together for seven. So we’ve had a good long while to get settled into a comfy life full of pets, Netflix, nights out with friends, nights in together, and quiet solitude when necessary. We’ve always known we wanted kids, and my PCOS diagnosis was difficult for us both. We weren’t in a rush to conceive, but when you’re told you might be in for a difficult time, well, things change. You start to worry. You start to play the “what if” game constantly, and we all know no one wins that game. To make a long story short, a couple of months of Metformin and ovulation predictor kits resulted in a pregnancy. Success! Except it happened so much faster than I expected. See, I like to keep my expectations pretty low in life. Don’t judge me – it usually ends up working in my favor, because I’m more often than not pleasantly surprised when things work out! But I quickly realized I was so focused on “what if this never happens for me?” that I never stopped to prepare myself for “how will you feel when this does happen for you?”