10 New Year's Resolutions We Wish The Duggars Were Making

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and the Duggars are on my miiiind. Just like everyone else, this family could stand to self-improve in the New Year. Since it would appear that they think they have it all figured out already, I thought I would make some suggestions for them.

1. Ease Up On The Homophobia

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As we saw earlier this year with Michelle’s gross display involving a tragically misinformed robo-call, the Duggars are not exactly the most accepting of the LGBTQ community. Wouldn’t it be nice if they let it go next year and just worried about their own sex lives?

2. Try Other Fabrics

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Give denim a break– it’s so tired from all that hard work helping the Duggarettes stay modest.

3. Have Some Humility

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Jim Bob’s awful reaction to the petition to take his show off the air shows that he could stand to eat a slice of humble pie. Class it up in the new year, Boob.

4. Buy New, Screw The Difference

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This one is for Jana, Jinger and the other girls still waiting for a husband and living at home. Buying used is cool and all but wouldn’t it be nice for these girls to take some of that TLC money that the invasion of their privacy helped earn and go shopping at the mall? I can dream.

5. No More Tater Tot Casserole

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As we saw from The Paunch this year,(*cough* doughnut burger *cough*) the Duggar diet could use some tweaking. Be not afraid of vegetables, buddy.

6. Enjoy Being Newlyweds

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This one is pretty much for Jessa as we found out recently that fellow newlywed Jill is already in the family way. Jessa is so young and her husband is still a teenager. I’m not saying don’t have two dozen kids someday, I’m just saying- enjoy each other for a while. Jessa has been raising her siblings for years- I think this girl needs a break in 2015 if she wants one.

7. Hire Paid Nannies

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FREE JANA! But seriously, they can afford it. Michelle needs to get a couple of mommy’s helpers so the older girls can live a little.

8. Learn Some Science

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Evolution is so cool. No, seriously- it’s awesome. Just sayin.

9. Dance Like No One’s Watching

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It has always made me sad that the Duggars denounce dancing as a “worldly” act that leads to impure thoughts. I feel like if Jinger ever tried to pop and lock, she would never go back.

10. Do Some Hair Experiments