Here Are Some Messages For Your Friends Who Insist On ‘Inspiring’ You Today

Maybe I’m just a jaded cynic with a black heart – but one of the most annoying things about social media is the inundation of inspirational messages that happen at certain times of the year. You know what I’m talking about; there’s usually a sunset involved, and the promise that “you can do it.”

Well, it’s New Year’s Day – so I can only imagine it’s going to be a veritable shit show of positivity out there. And you’re probably hungover and just really want to eat pizza all day and stay in your jammies and not think about all of the smooth sand beaches you should be running on or the mountains you need to climb.

I’ve made you all some posters for your timelines – so you can let all your well-intentioned friends know they need to back the fuck off of your life goals for a minute and let you ring in the new year in peace. You’re welcome.


Stop with the inspirational messages.





¬†We get it. You’re a runner now.








I really don’t care that you can jump onto a dining table from the floor in one, swift motion.




Sorry – but it’s true.




(photos: Getty Images)

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