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Thought New Moms Weren’t In The Mood For Sex? Think Again!

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There are a million reasons why new moms wouldn’t be up for a romp in the sack, no matter how much they love their partners. First, there’s the basic healing process that needs to happen after you push a child out. Let’s all be honest that while vaginas are amazing creations, even they take a little time repair. Then, there’s the lack of sleep. Who wants to roll in the sheets when you only get to lay down for an hour at a time? Don’t forget the effects of stress on your libido. Oh, and all the hormones. They just makes things weird.

I mean, no wonder new parents aren’t getting busy, right?

Except…. they are. I don’t know who started this whole “new moms don’t have sex” nonsense, because research shows that they clearly are. And no, it’s not just, “God, my husband won’t stop bugging me about it, I guess I could throw him a bone,” boning.

Here are a few facts that might surprise you about new moms:

  • Within three months of birth, 85% are having sex. That’s right, most moms are getting back in the saddle pretty quickly, especially considering the healing that needs to go on.
  • 40% of women masturbate in the first few weeks after delivery. That should put an end to the idea that women are only resuming sex to make their partners happy. Women enjoy sex. Even when they’re stressed and tired and their bodies are still getting back to pre-pregnancy shape. We still like sex!
  • “Fatigue, stress, body image, breast-feeding and vaginal trauma were not associated with how quickly women started having sex again.” I felt the need to quote that directly. All of those excuses that people hand out to explain why women won’t want sex right after baby… yea those had no bearing on whether or not a couple actually resumed sexual relations after welcoming their little one into the world.

Now, it’s true that performing oral sex and masturbation normally happen before penetrative sex. Anatomically speaking, I can understand why those things would come first for couples who are looking to resume their sex life. They probably seem the safest starting point.

But I think it’s so important to note that women are having sex because they want to. New moms are ready to be sexually active in a relatively short time after they give birth. As the authors of the study rightly point out, doctors rarely discuss sexuality with new moms because they assume women aren’t interested. That assumption is obviously false.

Some women may not be ready for sex right away, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I think it’s positive to note that plenty of women are ready to resume their sex life relatively quickly after having a child. Do you want to know what influenced their decision to get back to bed so quickly? “The biggest driver of high sexual desire for women were their feelings of intimacy and closeness to their partners.” Sex isn’t just a physical act, it’s an emotional one. It makes sense that moms would be happy to feel that closeness with their partners after the joy of having a baby.

(Photo: Yuri Arcurs/Shutterstock)