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10 Totally Stupid Things People Say About Raising Boys

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boyswillbeboysI have three boys, two bio and one bonus. From what I can tell so far, I have contributed to raising three guys who are in no way to close to being Douchebag Dudebrosâ„¢ – you know, the kind of guys who refer to women as “sluts” and beat the shit out of kids they think are “fags.” There are plenty of Douchebag Dudebrosâ„¢ in the world, I think we have reached our population quota, thanks.

One thing I have noticed with raising boys is that people say a lot of stupid things about the whole process, and talking with other moms I have heard the same types of things being repeated about their sons.

You Need To Toughen Him Up

This is the kind of thing you usually hear from an older male relative when you are comforting a crying boy baby or your toddler son who has fallen down and is sobbing on your lap. “You need to toughen him up” because when they get older and get hurt or feel very upset it is totally unacceptable for a man to show it. Uh-huh.

You Need To Cut His Hair 

Because men with long hair never, ever do well in life, and women in no way find them attractive, which is why The Doors and The Rolling Stones and Brad Pitt and Chris Hemsworth and a million other dudes with long hair were never loved by anyone ever. All of my boys had long hair, and their hair was only cut when they asked me to get it cut, despite lots of people telling me “He looks like a girl.”

Little Boys Shouldn’t Wear Pink 

This is just so stupid I don’t even know where to begin to understand it. My sons wear pink, their dad wears pink, lots of men look great in pink, colors don’t have a gender and pink starts with “P” and so does penis so what-ever.

 Don’t Buy Him A Doll 

There is nothing wrong with a boy playing with a doll. Boys may one day grow up to be dads and dolls teach kids how to nurture. Nothing is wrong with teaching boys how to be caring. Same goes for fashion dolls. Have you seen how many accessories fashion dolls come with these days? Even my husband likes playing with them with my daughter. they are FUN. Trucks don’t come with changes of clothing and stickers and hair you can cut. No wonder a lot of little boys like dolls.

You Are Turning Him Into A Mama’s Boy 

Single moms hear this one a lot. Your child needs MALE influence in their lives because if he is always cooking with you or running errands with you he will turn out to be a “mama’s boy” – someone who enjoys the company of women and respects women and likes women. The horror!

Boys Are Just Better At Math And Science 

Some boys hate science, some boys suck at math. Yes, there is evidence as to why fewer women are involved in the fields of math and science but that doesn’t magically mean that all boys excel at math and science.

You Should Get Him Involved In A Sport

Sure, boys should play sports of they want to. So should girls. Boys should also join the chess team if they want to. Some boys hate team sports. I know my older son does. He’s a runner. He has no idea how baseball even works.

If He’s Being Bullied, You Need To Teach Him How To Fight

Yeah, because we need more dudes in the world settling disputes with violence. Sure, if someone hits your kid? You teach them to punch that person in the damn throat, but don’t go teaching them they can clock someone just because they’re acting like an asshole.

Teen Girls Are So Much Harder Than Boys

As the mother of a teen boy, I can totally tell you they experience mood swings and hormonal changes and all that. Sure, they may not get their periods but they go through plenty of changes of their own.

Boys Will Be Boys

Almost any bad behavior can be chalked up to this one by anyone who has no idea what the hell they are talking about. From breaking a window to hitting a dog to raping a girl at a party. None of these things are inherently masculine behavior. If we teach our boys that bad behavior is acceptable due to their gender all we are doing is giving them a free pass to act like a dudebro as an adult. I adore my sons. I like to think that they will one day be awesome men. And it’s mainly because I never believed any of the bullshit spouted above.

(Image: mennonite church archives)