Weird News

A Mystery Pooper Is Vandalizing Playground Equipment And For Once It’s Not In Florida

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A mystery pooper is on the loose in Ypsilanti, Michigan, and the search for this dastardly defecator has created a buzz on the Internet. According to The Daily Dot, this enigmatic excretory enthusiast has been despoiling various pieces of playground equipment in a local park for the past six months. Obviously both authorities and average citizens aren’t about to put up with that shit (pun most definitely intended), and some folks have gone to great lengths to finally find this fecal fanatic. And when I say great lengths, I mean this is some serious shit.

(I’m sorry, I just can’t help myself)

The Twitter hashtag for this crowd sourced investigation, #ypsipooer, has gone viral, with hundreds of hilarious results:

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Of course, the police in Ypsilanti are more than ready to deliver a steaming load of justice to this dude (and I am willing to bet my hat that it’s a dude). They even installed hidden cameras to catch him brown red handed and have asked that anyone with information on the Brown Stain Bandit contact Detective Sergeant Tom Eberts at 734-482-9878.

But the real winner is local advertising company Adams Outdoor Advertising, which created what might be the world’s first feces-related billboard. And what a glorious billboard it is:

Mystery Pooper Billboard

According to The Daily Dot‘s interview with Todd McWilliams, the Adams Outdoor Advertising general manager:

“Our art guy had a lot of fun. He came up with a few designs—and I rejected a few. I’m told that the Ypsilanti police actually now have a person of interest. We brought more attention to the problem, and we’re just glad if we can get this person to stop doing what they were doing.”

This surreptitious shite-meister has even inspired a parody Twitter account, @Myster_Pooper, who sadly only has 50 followers at the moment.

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Okay, before I get flamed, I do understand how disgusting this is. Not only is it gross, but some unlucky soul has to clean this crap up every day (literally! HA!). Thankfully Ypsilanti police may have a person of interest, so perhaps this doody debacle will soon be over.

(Photos: YouTube/Twitter)