Childrearing

‘Mad Mommy Face’ Is What Led Me To Botox

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I was distressed, to say the least, when my daughter asked me worriedly what was wrong and nothing was. “What do you mean?” I asked her. “Nothing is wrong.” My daughter responded, “But you have your ‘Mad Mommy Face.’” That, my friends, is when I had an epiphany. And that epiphany was that I needed to do something drastic, and that drastic something was Botox.

“This is not my ‘Mad Mommy Face,’” I told her in shock. “This is just, well, my face!” Yes, it was because of my daughter that I made an appointment to get my first needles full of whatever shot into my frown lines. When I first heard my daughter use the phrase, “Mad Mommy Face” I thought it was pretty cute and funny. But it turns out, from talking to mommy friends, that a lot of kids say this to their mothers.

Most mothers, I guess, do get “Mad Mommy Face.” But, unlike many mothers, facial expressions are everything to my daughter and me. It’s how we communicate a lot of the time. For example, if I raise eyebrows, that means, “Your play date is over. We are leaving now. No fucking around.” And she’ll get her coat on and we’ll leave, no arguing at all.

The fact is, in my daughter’s eight years, I have only yelled at her once. Yes, you read that correctly. In my daughter’s more than 3000 days in my life, I have only raised my voice at her once. And, truth be told, it was half my fault. She had been reading a book, and the little girl character in that book had written on her bedroom wall. My daughter asked me if she could do the same thing, and since I was on the phone, I kind of said, “Yes,” without really hearing what she had asked. But I had just repainted her room, and when I went up to see that she had written the entire alphabet on her wall – with pencil – I lost it! And by “losing it,” I mean I yelled at her.

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