My Hard-Partying Friends Keep Ditching Me Just Because I’m Pregnant

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pregnant alcoholI haven’t seen one of my really good friends in seven months. I know this because there is nothing like pregnancy to make you realize how fast (or slow) time flies. I moaned to my fiancé recently about how this friend never calls me anymore even though I’ve left her a bunch of voicemails over the past few months.

“She just doesn’t want to hang out with me because I’m pregnant and she likes to party,” I told him. I’m not over-exaggerating. In fact, I’m being completely realistic, which is a change from my first pregnancy nine years ago, when I was really immature and would get angry at friends for what I perceived as ditching me. My friend does love to party. And, well, I simply can’t.

I have bad timing when it comes to being pregnant, it seems. Meaning, the first time around, all my friends weren’t ready to have kids, so I was pretty much the first woman in my group of friends to get knocked up. I remember being extremely sad at points throughout that first pregnancy, when I’d call my friends and they’d be busy at work (while I was nesting) or going out to bars all night (while I was practically hibernating because of my weight gain, which made me really insecure).

This time around, the pregnancy was planned, but it’s still bad timing when it comes to my friendships. Now all of my friends are not only done having children, but their children are mostly 5, 6 or 7 years old and they’re just starting to taste their freedom again. And this means they are going out late again, drinking and living the life they sort of had before children. So, again, I find myself in a lonely position.

Still, I picked up the phone the other day and tried my friend again. This time she called back. “We haven’t spoken in so long!” she exclaimed. “Yeah, I know. I think the last time we talked was when I told you I was pregnant and now I’m having that baby next week,” I told her. Which means months and months had gone by without us speaking or seeing each other. I invited her to stop by the following day and she did. I couldn’t believe how much I had to catch her up on (how it’s going with my fiancé’s children, how big I’ve gotten, how the fiancé proposed, what it’s like living together most of the time).

She caught me up on her life and all the going out she’s done, her divorce, her new boyfriend, her new job. It was a nice catch up and we promised to keep in touch. But, realistically, if I hadn’t seen her in seven months and I’m about to have a baby, when will the next time truly be?

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