My Hard-Partying Friends Keep Ditching Me Just Because I’m Pregnant
I havenâ€™t seen one of my really good friends in seven months. I know this because there is nothing like pregnancy to make you realize how fast (or slow) time flies. I moaned to my fiancÃ© recently about how this friend never calls me anymore even though I’ve left her a bunch of voicemails over the past few months.
â€œShe just doesnâ€™t want to hang out with me because Iâ€™m pregnant and she likes to party,â€ I told him. Iâ€™m not over-exaggerating. In fact, Iâ€™m being completely realistic, which is a change from my first pregnancy nine years ago, when I was really immature and would get angry at friends for what I perceived as ditching me. My friend does love to party. And, well, I simply canâ€™t.
I have bad timing when it comes to being pregnant, it seems. Meaning, the first time around, all my friends werenâ€™t ready to have kids, so I was pretty much the first woman in my group of friends to get knocked up. I remember being extremely sad at points throughout that first pregnancy, when Iâ€™d call my friends and theyâ€™d be busy at work (while I was nesting) or going out to bars all night (while I was practically hibernating because of my weight gain, which made me really insecure).
This time around, the pregnancy was planned, but itâ€™s still bad timing when it comes to my friendships. Now all of my friends are not only done having children, but their children are mostly 5, 6 or 7 years old and theyâ€™re just starting to taste their freedom again. And this means they are going out late again, drinking and living the life they sort of had before children. So, again, I find myself in a lonely position.
Still, I picked up the phone the other day and tried my friend again. This time she called back. â€œWe havenâ€™t spoken in so long!â€ she exclaimed. â€œYeah, I know. I think the last time we talked was when I told you I was pregnant and now Iâ€™m having that baby next week,â€ I told her. Which means months and months had gone by without us speaking or seeing each other. I invited her to stop by the following day and she did. I couldnâ€™t believe how much I had to catch her up on (how itâ€™s going with my fiancÃ©â€™s children, how big Iâ€™ve gotten, how the fiancÃ© proposed, what itâ€™s like living together most of the time).
She caught me up on her life and all the going out sheâ€™s done, her divorce, her new boyfriend, her new job. It was a nice catch up and we promised to keep in touch. But, realistically, if I hadnâ€™t seen her in seven months and Iâ€™m about to have a baby, when will the next time truly be?