15 Hilarious Mother’s Day Cards for Your Foul-Mouthed Mom
Mother’s Day is just around the corner, so you’re probably on the hunt for the perfect card for your mama. Or for yourself, which you will sign to yourself, “from” your kids. Because let’s be honest, that’s usually what ends up happening, right? Stores are filled with sappy cards for this very special occasion, but some moms just aren’t the sappy type! Some moms drop f-bombs like they’re going out of style, and those moms need a card that suits their personality. Whether you’re looking for your own mom, for yourself, or for your foul-mouthed mom friends, these 20 Mother’s Day cards for the mom with an overflowing swear jar are perfect.
Mother’s Day cards don’t have to tug at the heartstrings. Sometimes, the best card says exactly what you need it to say with a few 4-letter words.
This card from Amazon puts into words what every mom has muttered under her breath at least once in her life.
It’s funny because it’s true!
Not only does this card from Amazon speak the truth, it’s also enormous. Go big or go home this Mother’s Day. Get her a card she can read without putting her glasses on.
She gets it from her mama.
Listen, maybe if your kids hadn’t heard so many swear words growing up, they’d get you more appropriate Mother’s Day cards. But we don’t have a time machine, so let them embrace what you’ve taught them with this hilarious card from PRETTYBYHER on Etsy.
Can’t find a card that describes all of the wonderful attributes your mother embodies? This one is short and sweet.
No need to get super wordy with your card, just let this one from Amazon deliver the message with a bluntness she’ll appreciate.
You should be thanking her for turning her boobs into tube socks filled with wet sand for the rest of your life.
The only thing that would improve this card from Amazon is if it was a combination thank you/I’m so sorry card.
Let your mom know she succeeded at raising an absolute smart-ass.
This printable download card from Etsy shop LiyanaStudio is perfect for the mom of a lazy, smart-ass kid.
Damn right she did, and you pooped on her many, many times in retaliation.
Tell her you don’t mind that welcome to the world poo on your head with this card from TheCardSharkUK on Etsy.
Mother’s Day cards should tell the truth, if nothing else.
Listen, your mom obviously knows this, and whispers it to herself at least 13 times a day. Let her know you know it too, with this card from FiberandDye on Etsy.
Show her you turned out just fucking great.
I mean, it’s censored and everything! Show mom you learned from the best with this hilarious card from Amazon.
Mothers know we need to take the W’s where we can.
And listen mom, it was touch and go quite a few times over the years, so really, YOU’RE WELCOME. Help her celebrate her successes with this card from Amazon.
Nothing makes you appreciate your own mother like becoming a mother yourself.
Your mom always told you, “just wait until you become a mom!” Turns out, she was right AS FUCK. Sorry mom, I hope this card from TheCardSharkUK on Etsy makes you feel better.
OK, so this one would be … weird if you gave it to your own mom. But husbands and dads (who you’ll be buying the cards for anyway), take note.
Etsy shop DeLuceDesigns wants to make sure that moms are being recognized by dads and husbands too, and this card really gets that message across.
Vagina, boobs, bladder … the list goes on.
I mean, if we’re going to give cards apologizing for all the things you broke, the cards would be the size of dictionaries. But TheCardSharkUK has a card for the most important part.
This will undoubtedly be her favorite card from her favorite child.
This embroidered card and badge from Etsy shop LittleBtchXStitch only works if you give it to mom in front of your siblings. Happy Mother’s Day, let’s get awkward!
And finally, all of your moms friends need Mother’s Day cards that speak their language, too.
I want to be offended, I really do, but this card from Etsy shop PersonalPaperHugs is just too real. We’re all just some small person’s snack bitch.
No matter how you choose to say it this year, the most important thing is this: you will never be able to repay your mom for all she’s done. Happy Mother’s Day!
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