being a mom
Guardian Writer Trolls Moms With Ridiculous ‘Mommy Wars’ Fabrication
A Guardian writer has apparently been frozen in ice for the last four months – as she took the opportunity today to reignite the mommy wars flame by referencing a survey that was done months ago by Parents magazine; one that has been dissected so thoroughly, it never needed to be revisited again. No matter – she did it anyway.
Being a mother is not the most important job in the world. There, I said it. Nor is it the toughest job, despite what the 92% of people polled inÂ Parents MagazineÂ reckon.
“There, I said it.” You’re late to the party, lady.
She makes the usual arguments about all of the jobs that exist that are surely way, way harder:
Even if it were a job, there is no way being a professional mother could be the hardest when compared to working 16 hours a day in a clothing factory in Bangladesh, making bricks in an Indian kiln, or being a Chinese miner. Nor could it ever be considered the most important job in comparison with a surgeon who saves lives, anyone running a nation, or a judge deciding on peopleâ€™s destiny.
Yawn. Then she goes on to pit working moms against stay at home moms:
There is also a curious sliding scale to the argument. “Working career mums” are at the lower end of the spectrum, and stay at home mothers are at the highest echelons, with ascending increments for each child you have. The more hours of drudgery you endure the more of a mother you are and, therefore, the more important your job is. The more you outsource domestic labour and childcare to participate in the workforce, the less of a mother you are.
Then she throws in a “get over yourself” for good measure:
Itâ€™s fine to use “motherhood” as a credential if you’re talking about something related to actual motherhood, like vaginal tearing during birth or breastfeeding (despite not all mothers experiencing either). But if you’re using “motherhood” to assert that you care more about humanity than the next person, if you’re using it as a shorthand to imply that you are a more compassionate and hard-working person than the women and men standing around you, then feel free to get over yourself.
This whole piece was just one giant mish-mash of poorly constructed arguments building up to a climax of insult. What is the point? If someone is a parent and wants to consider that the most important job in the world – who cares? Look what she said to a reader that dared to disagree with her:
What in the actual fuck? So our children are holding us hostage now? I’m not even sure what this means. Actually, I don’t think Stockholm Syndrome means what she thinks it means.
One thing she did succeed in doing is giving the rest of us writers in the parenting blogosphere a good outline for which to construct a “mommy wars” piece on a slow news day. Thanks, Catherine.
(photo: Getty Images)