mom fun

10 Ways Moms Are Exactly Like Ninjas

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When you compare moms to anything else in the world it’s hard to come up with a better match than ninjas. Moms are so crafty and fast- we have the ability to fly totally under the radar if necessary and we are more or less always in survival mode. Just give us an all-black outfit (which most of us wear regularly anyway) and we are on our way. We can notice every movement, hear every sound and sense any irregularity with our children. We have so many abilities once the placenta drops- it is really no wonder packs of moms have not started roaming the earth ridding it of crime and all other threats. Moms are exactly like ninjas and here is my proof:

1. Moms Move In Total Stealth Mode

If you ever want to see stellar ninja moves, observe a mom backing out of her baby’s nursery right after they fall asleep.

2. Moms See Everything

There are never surprise attacks- even the tiniest bit of movement in our peripheral is enough warning.

3. Moms Have Many Potential Weapons 

Ninjas use whatever they have at the ready to dispatch their enemies and moms have SO much stuff. With my son’s toy collection alone I have Donatello’s “stick”, a baseball bat, a pretend sword and so many Legos I could booby-trap every room in a 3000 square foot home.

4. Moms Can Think Quickly In Any Situation

In the middle of the grocery store and your 3-year old has to pee? Stuck in the drive-thru lane at Dunkin Donuts and someone is about to barf? Moms can find a neat and tidy way out of any situation. One time, my son threw up in an empty gift bag I had laying on the floor of my passenger seat. Our brains are always firing.

5. Moms Can Spy Without Being Caught

I know there are gadgets for this now, but moms have been able to spy on their kids without being detected since the dawn of time. I have taken whole 10-minute videos of my kids doing cute things while standing in their bedroom doorway and they were none the wiser. I am invisible when I want to be.

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