The Official Mommyish Disney Movie Drinking Game
Oh no. It was a perfectly nice, quiet evening at home, until your son or daughter trotted up to you and held out a Disney DVD whose cover you recognize all too well. “Oh, honey,” you try to say. “What about a board game? What about a book? What about – what about actually building a snowman, instead of just singing about it?” No. There is no snowman for you. There is only Elsa.
Your next re-watch of Frozen, The Lion King, or Cinderella doesn’t have be as painful as the previous thousand viewings, though: let the Mommyish Disney Movie Drinking Game relax that clenched jaw and furrowed brow. Instead of digging your fingers into the couch cushions at the first refrain of your current least favorite song in the entire universe, wrap them around the reassuring shape of a beer bottle or wine glass. It’s going to be okay, thanks to your friends at Mommyish (and Yellow Tail and/or Budweiser).
Here are printable PDF cards one, two, and three, if you want to play along with a spouse, significant other, or friend. (Or possibly if you’re just really heavily invested in winning and want to play with all the options on the table.) Print ’em out and have a good time, or don’t, because you’re a Disney princess and no one can tell you what to do. Bonus rules:
- If you are drinking box wine straight out of the box using a straw, you get the title of Evil Queen, and other players must defer to you in all Bingo judgment calls.
- If the Disney movie your kid is fixated on is The Black Cauldron, 1.) I’m so sorry, and 2.) double the usual drinking rate.
- If you can sing along with a whole song without screwing up any of lyrics, take a shot.
- If you are uncomfortably attracted to an animated character, take a shot.
- If something in the movie inspires your child to ask you what death is, or where babies come from, finish your drink. You’re going to need it.
If PDFs aren’t your thing (or if, like me, you haven’t had a functional printer since approximately when 101 Dalmatians was released in theaters) go ahead and check after the jump for the full-size images of the cards, so you can play in Microsoft Paint like a civilized human being.