Cranky Mom Wants ‘The Diary Of Anne Frank’ Censored Because It Contains A Ladybit Passage

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As a mom to a kid who will be attending middle school next year, I have all sort of parental concerns. Additional homework, bullying, peer pressure, drug use, you know the usual things most normal parents worry about when their kid goes from elementary school to middle school. I do not have the same types of concerns that this morally outraged mom from Michigan has, which can be summed up with “My 13-year-old daughter was TRAUMATIZED by reading a small passage in The Diary Of Anne Frank that discusses female genitalia!” From The Daily Mail:

A Michigan parent wants parts of Anne Frank’s prolific diary banned from her daughter’s classroom. 

Gail Horalek of Northville is upset over Frank’s references to her own genitalia in the diary. She says the passages made her daughter uncomfortable and that the school should have requested parental permission before assigning it to students. ‘It’s pretty graphic, and it’s pretty pornographic for seventh-grade boys and girls to be reading,’ Horalek told the Detroit’s Fox affiliate. ‘It’s inappropriate for a teacher to be giving this material out to the kids when its really the parents’ job to give the students this information.’

The passage that had Horalek’s daughter so upset?

‘There are little folds of skin all over the place, you can hardly find it,’ the passage reads. ‘The little hole underneath is so terribly small that I simply can’t imagine how a man can get in there, let alone how a whole baby can get out!’

Not to be all judge-y here, but if your seventh grade daughter has no idea what her vagina is used for, then I think you have bigger issues than what books she is reading – and if all she got out of The Diary Of Anne Frank is a teensy paragraph where she references her vagina, then you really have bigger issues on your hands. The absurdity of this complaint, considering we live in an age where kids are exposed to far, far worse just by opening up a magazine or turning on the TV, floors me. To take a brilliant and heartbreaking novel that to this day should be required reading for all humans and bitch about a tiny part that references the female body, and is in NO way pornographic, is more vulgar than anything I can imagine.

When my kids go to other houses for a playdate for the first time I casually ask if the parents have any handguns in the house, or if an adult will be home when our kids are hanging out. Next time I’m going to ask if they would freak out if their kid read the uncensored version of Anne Frank. These sorts of parents scare me to death.