I Forced Myself To Go On A Girls’ Trip To Prove That The World Doesn’t Revolve Around Me

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I just came back from a weekend girls’ trip, and spoiler alert—it went well. But before you think me cool as a cucumber, just know that I was a total nervous wreck leading up to the trip, and I almost threw up in my purse as I was driving away from the house.

I have two small children, and I’m convinced the world revolves around me. My husband and I work together at home 24/7, and he is an excellent co-parent. But for some reason, I’m convinced that my worrying brain and watchful eye are what is keeping my nervous mom world from imploding.

It was my idea to go on the girls’ trip and reconnect with my best friends from middle school, after almost 20 years. We all still live in Texas, so it was a short drive to meet up at a cute little hotel in Dallas. We chatted, we drank, we looked at old pictures, and we did girl things. I had an absolutely amazing time, and I really wasn’t too sad to leave my kids on the first night.

But when the first morning away rolled around… I was full of regret. I woke up semi-hungover after a night of drinking and just wished I was home with my kids. But, I had already decided in advance to go visit my parents close by for another night away from my kids. What was I thinking?

My husband was totally okay with me ditching him with two small children for a few days, but he did send me a few stressed out text messages—basically, telling me the terrible tales of stuff my toddler did, like smearing poop all over himself and his bed and the carpet during nap time. I was kind of glad I missed out on that one, but I felt all kinds of guilt for leaving my husband as the only man in the trench.

As I was wrapping up my trip, I had experienced a lot of different emotions over the weekend. For one thing, I almost never travel by myself now, even though I was very independent in my early twenties. Normally, my husband and I travel together to get a break from the kids, so this solo trip was a challenge for me.

My husband kept it together and did a great job, even though he was close to going crazy by the time I returned home. I had a good time with my girlfriends and felt like a normal person going out in public again. I really missed my kids, but I realized that my sad, lingering emotions were more about me than them. It’s not my kids’ job to make me feel better. Even though it’s normal to miss them, I don’t think it’s normal to spend time with your kids every second of every day as your only source of fulfillment.

(photo: Getty Images)