Wearing Your Baby Is Not As Easy As It Looks
I went online and Googled “Moby wrap how.” A YouTube linked popped up so I followed it to the page. To my delight there were dozens of videos detailing how to get this thing wrapped around my body. I chose the one with the Dad. He doesn’t even have a maternal instinct working in his favor. If he could do it, so could I.
I quickly realized my assumption about maternal instinct is wrong. There is some super soothing massage-room music playing and this guy looks more at ease slipping his tiny infant into his expertly wrapped Moby, than I have ever looked about anything. I close my computer. I was going to figure this out on my own, damnit.
I started with the basic wrap. I gathered all of the fabric and attempted to cross it over my shoulders like the calm lady I had seen in the instruction manual. I was eight months pregnant and it was the middle of a hot New York summer. I immediately began sweating, but refused to give up. The frenzied wrapping began.
This way, too short!
This way, too long!
That way, I look like a fat hippy!
My baby wasn’t born yet and I was already failing at motherhood. I don’t like to fail, so I decided I was going to return the baby accessory from hell. I don’t even want to tell you how hard it was to get that thing back into it’s rolled state. I was broke and desperate for another carrier that I would be able to use – so I managed to figure it out.
I ended up with one of those carriers that looks like an ugly backpack. I looked like a linebacker in it, but my baby felt secure and comfortable so that’s all that really mattered. I still get a little envious when I see women who can pull off the baby wrap – but it’s not for me. I’m pregnant with number two, but I still don’t think it’s in the cards.
On Friday I got an email from my birthing center.
Just wanted to let you know that you won the Moby Wrap in the raffle! Â Do you want to pick it up at your appointment on Wednesday, 2/20? Â If that works for you, just remind us when you’re here!
Also- do you mind if I announce that you won the Moby on Facebook? Â If you don’t want me to use your full name, I could just say “Maria G.”
The universe is clearly mocking me. Oh, well. Guess I’m trying again.