10 Ridiculous Things Your Wedding Ring Can Prevent That Mitt Romney Should Also Mention

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Mitt Romney may have knocked “great single moms, single dads” with the suggestion that they’re causing gun violence, but that’s not all the stupid that came out of his mouth. The implication that our “culture of violence” can be solved with an uptick in marriage rates takes a huge sidestep from talking gun control laws, but also suggests violence to be a character-building problem. Governor Romney is not alone in this line of thought, as Obama ran a similar line of reasoning during his allotted two minutes. While the President didn’t go so far as to imply that marriage impedes bullets, his opponent did insinuate that poverty and gun violence are a link, which I agree with. But to vilify the poor as somehow lacking morals — simply because they’re not rich or married — isn’t really a promising solution to tackling gun violence.

Nuptials are down in this country, but the possession of a marital certificate doesn’t prevent you from getting a gun into your hands and killing someone. Stable partnerships come with all kinds of benefits, but those unions don’t always take the shape of a heterosexual marriage. And as we all know, and perhaps from experience, a legal marriage doesn’t always equate a respectful and loving partnership. I advocate kids being raised in stable, loving homes with financial security. But a legal marriage between two straight people doesn’t innately possess those qualities.

So since the governor thinks that putting a ring on it can not only deflect violence, but also your interest in it, I rounded up a few other hypothetical wedding ring-preventatives that are just as ridiculous and hyperbolic. No reason to sell marriage short on all it’s other uses. A wedding ring isn’t just a bullet-proof vest, mind you. That sparkling wedding band can also prevent an array of risk-posing activities! Just by flashing the paperwork!