Women's Issues

Michelle Bachman Thinks Birth Control Is Killing Us All And Destroying America

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Annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) Held In D.C.Is Michelle Bachman a real person, or just a puppet programmed to spew nonsense? I am leaning towards the latter.

Our friends at Hobby Lobby have brought the insurance coverage of birth control issue to the Supreme Court this week, and it’s making women like Michelle Bachman very angry. Apparently, the idea of health related things being covered by health insurance is very confusing for her. Following Supreme Court arguments about whether employers could deny employees birth control coverage based on their religious beliefs, she took the House floor to blast the Obama administration for mandating birth control coverage in the first place:

“It is not at only the election of the court, but at the election of the unnamed bureaucrat that decides, today we will have these killer drugs that we mandate. Tomorrow, what drugs will they take off the list? Will I not get life-saving drugs that I need to get?”

“Killer drugs?” She is very perplexed about the function of birth control; for some reason she thinks it’s poison. How was this woman elected into office? I’m scared. Hold me.

Bachmann went on to suggest that “only politically-connected best friends” of President Obama’s administration would receive certain surgical procedures in the future.

“We don’t know!” she insisted. “That means that the president and his administration wins their religious liberty, and the right to force their religious views down the throats of the American people… It’s unlike anything we have ever seen before in the history of the United States of America.”

Please, please, please explain how a woman swallowing a birth control pill infringes on your religious views, crazy lady? No one is forcing them down your throat. And for the record, they are not poison. They prevent abortions, for one; that other necessary medical procedure that you think is so evil.

I love the argument that people who just want to exercise the right to control their own health are infringing on the rights of others. It makes zero sense. Up is down! Left is right! Black is white! And the village idiot is a congresswoman!

(photo: Getty Images)