7 Men Who Would Rather Not Have Sex With Their Pregnant Wives

Pregnant sex is like a treasure trove of hilarity. I honestly couldn’t answer any questions about pregnant sex personally since that time in my life is one long, horrible blur of classwork and dumpy restaurant jobs. Still, it’s a pretty hot topic.

There are the people who are so horny when they’re pregnant that they have sex every day. There are the people who are horrified by their inflamed cheeseburger crotches. There are people who could take it or leave it.

And then there are the people horrified by their wives’ pregnant bodies.

1. I want to plow her, but I don’t want to plow her, you know?

So I don’t want to plow the woman I married because of her meat feet and gross body. Am I really such a bad guy?

2. “Beyond unsexy”

I’m just going to leave the phrase “huge, bald, fleshy telephone pole” here.

3. How can I make sure my wife never finds out that it makes me nauseous to look at her?

I love my wife, it’s just that the very sight of her makes me want to vomit and I wish she could have just stayed thin.

4. Sometimes it’s more mental and you’re haunted by the ultrasound

I…feel kinda bad for this guy, actually.

5. This guy sounds like a real catch

Run. Away.

6. Help! I don’t know how babies or vaginas work at all!!?

Why can’t she just be satisfied with butt stuff?

7. That baby sickens me.

Hells yeah! Cover your leper sores and face the other way!

(Image: Ollyy/Shutterstock)