Everyone loves the Minions. The little yellow Twinkie-shaped dudes that serve the former villain protagonist of Despicable Me are a hoot. Kids love them. Grown-ups love them. McDonald’s probably does not love them so much right now, but that’s just because they released a line of talking Minion dolls as Happy Meal toys, and now some parents are convinced that the dolls say, “What the fuck!?”
According to Fox 28 Columbus, some parents were horrified to discover their small child’s toy said, “What the fuck!?” I listened, and I definitely heard, “What the fuck?” but if I was not specifically listening for it I probably would have just heard quacking noises or “bock bock bock,” like a chicken. I’m pretty sure all the profanity is in my own head, but you should watch the video to find out for yourself. Also, it is worth watching just for footage of the father who did not bother to go in and put on a shirt when the news cameras came to interview him.
Companies had better just stop making talking dolls altogether, because someone always thinks the toys are saying naughty words. It does feel a little bit like people hear what they want to hear, and our ears do play tricks on us. (Right after my daughter was born I had to stop using her white noise giraffe because my addled, postpartum brain kept hearing someone shrieking in a burning building in the background. I listen to it now and it is just happy rain sounds.)
A McDonald’s spokesperson sighed, presumably while shaking his head in frustration, that the Minions speak “a random combination of languages and nonsense words” and that nothing they say can be translated into any known human language.
Here’s a different video of the Minion toy allegedly swearing:
You should probably go out and buy yourself a Happy Meal right now, because every grown-up is going to want a cursing Minion toy for him or herself. Just don’t give it to the kids, save it for all your drunk friends to laugh at instead.