You Should Never Put The Internet In Charge Of Naming Your Baby

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88785535Someone is letting the Internet name their baby again. Why is this happening? More importantly, why is this happening on Reddit?

Reddit is basically a place where people come together to insult each other, have virtual drum circles, and be as offensive as they possibly can. Why someone would choose this forum to pick a name for their child is beyond me:

Hi, My name is Stephen and much to the disbelief of my wife, I have decided to let the internet name* my daughter.

Yeah that is an asterisk, Unfortunately internet I know better than to trust you. We will ultimately be making the final decision, Alas my daughter shall not be named WackyTaco692. Sorry guys the wife wouldn’t go for a free for all.

Well, then you’re not really letting the Internet name your daughter, are you? I don’t even understand the point of your website now, since you have ultimate veto power – but I get it. I wouldn’t let Reddit name my child either. Here are a few more sites that you should definitely never let name your child.


4Chan is basically the sewer of the Internet. “ is the self-proclaimed Internet home for people who lack a social conscience.” That sentence is from Fox News. I just agreed with Fox News. This should illustrate how bad this site is. If you have an interest in breeding a future misogynist or racist with no social skills, you should source your name from this site.

Ashley Madison

“Life is short. Have an affair.®” This site seriously trademarked that sentence. This would be a great place to source your baby’s name if you have no interest in honesty or integrity.

 Urban Baby

Do you plan on raising an entitled bitch? Source your name from Urban Baby, a site filled with mothers complaining about their nannies, Birkin bags, and beachside resort homes. Nothing is ever good enough for an Urban Mommy.

XO Jane

Ever had the desire to take advice from women who think it’s no big deal to bring your 10-year-old to a sex shop or glorify drug addicts who clearly need help? This is the place for you.


A better decision than probably any of the above, but it may get a little weird. Do you really want a daughter named Princess or a son named Major? Named by somebody who really thinks that owning a “virtual pet” is a thing? I think… no.

I don’t know if it’s for publicity, or ad dollars, or pageviews or what – but this “Internet baby naming trend” has got to stop.

(photo: Getty Images)