Disney’s live-action Cinderella is opening in just a couple days, but I’m already over that and looking forward to the live-action Beauty and the Beast, because Disney just announced its male leads, and they’re so sexy you’re going to want to ditch all the children and just go see it all by yourself.
Seriously, this is already looking sexier than Fifty Shades of Grey will ever be.
First up, the Beast will be played by Downton Abbey star and good-natured yellow Labrador Dan Stevens, who I am pretty sure secured the audition by just sending a photo of his eyes to the casting director.
While it is difficult to imagine Downton Abbey‘s mild-mannered Mathew Crawley having the Beast’s completely inappropriate and unsexy rage issues, he does have a lot of experience standing around a castle and being handsome.
But speaking of being handsome, Beauty and the Beast has also cast its Gaston, and its Gaston is wonderful.
This is Luke Evans from The Immortals and The Hobbit. Clearly he is a master of acting without shirts, which one hopes is a skill he will bring to the screen as Gaston, the dude who eats five dozen eggs every morning to help him get large. As nice as I am sure Dan Stevens is, I suspect this means the tradition of rooting for Gaston will continue uninterrupted.
I know we were all secretly hoping for Disneyworld’s famous Hot Gaston to show up, because I am not entirely sure that he is not actually the real Gaston. But this Mr. Evans is completely wonderful, and is as good a reason as any to wake your kids up to go to a midnight showing the day this thing opens.
Of course not all mothers are interested in manly eye candy, but that’s OK because Belle will be played by Ivy League grad, Burberry model, and noted feminist Emma Watson. Everyone will be in gorgeous, expensive period costumes, so basically this is guaranteed to be the most attractive movie of the year.
Now we just need to make sure they cast Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Potts again, and we’ll be all set.