Just Call Me A Lice Expert Because My Daughter Has Had Lice Four Times

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Whenever my daughter says her hair is itchy, I immediately think I have lice too, which is a possibility since we hug and cuddle and lie together a lot. As soon as my daughter told me her head was “itchy” I was like, “Fuck! Now my head is itchy too.”

All day I was scratching my head. I had my best friend, who has four kids, actually come over to check out my hair. (She’s a good friend!) She told me she didn’t see anything, and she would know, because her daughter had recurring lice last summer for a month. I also had my fiancé check out my head, because he has two daughters who used to get lice too. Neither of them saw anything, but then again, I thought, they are not professionals from the Lice Squad.

So the lice woman came over and looked through my scalp and said she didn’t see anything.

“Then why am I so itchy?” I asked.

Well, she answered, “Sometimes it’s IN your head, not on your head.”

My daughter, however, had 10 eggs, that hadn’t been hatched yet, which is a good thing. (The lice woman also told me that she recently did the hair of a girl who had over a thousand.) The lice woman spent over an hour combing through my daughter’s hair. My daughter told me not to tell anyone she had lice and I told her straight up, “It’s nothing to be embarrassed out. It happens to most people. Who cares? We dealt with it and it’s done.”

For now. Until the next time.

I learned some fascinating things about lice from the lice woman. One being, that lice can hold their breath for up to two hours. My daughter, smartly, asked, “So if you go scuba diving for three hours they will die?” (The answer is yes.) What interests me more than my daughter having lice is that these lice professionals know so much about lice! They are so passionate about it and can answer any question about the little buggers. Also, she told me that while lice professionals don’t like to admit there’s a lice “epidemic,” there is. According to her, one in four children now have lice.

Talking about lice for almost two hours is not exactly my idea of fun (And it just made me itchy.) However, I dealt with it. It’s done (For now.) She gave me a list of when next to wash her hair with the lice formula and comb it out and which dates to do it.

“Great! Those are the days her father has her,” I laughed. And the nice lice lady laughed too. “You’re not the first person who has said that to me.”

(photo: D. Kucharski & K. Kucharska/ Shutterstock)

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