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Levi Johnston Uses His Sperm To Spawn Daughter He Names ‘Breeze Baretta’

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Many months ago we expressed concern about the new Levi Johnston spawn-to-be, but it looks like the name was an actual real choice. I’m hoping the mom was jacked up on painkillers when the birth certificate was penned and it’s not too late for her to demand a name change. Memoirist and ex-Sarah Palin wannabee-son-in-law Levi Johnston and girlfriend Sunny Oglesby birthed a daughter in Wasilla, Alaska Wednesday morning. The Levi baby was 6 pounds, 15 ounces and measured 19 inches in length and then christened Breeze Beretta Johnston, because nothing prepares a child for a life full of good things and happiness like naming her after an Italian handgun.

Bristol Palin, in a surprisingly classy mood, welcomed the new baby with:

“Sent them some flowers today when I heard the news!” Bristol exclusively emailed E! News. “Wish them the best, Tripp will be excited to hold her! :)”

In all fairness, it wasn’t like this baby was expected or anything, and maybe Levi Johnston and the new mommy just couldn’t be bothered to come up with a better name for her than dubbing the precious little newborn after a weapon that perpetrates 60 percent of all homicides in the United States yearly.

Sunny Oglesby told Inside Edition:

She also revealed her pregnancy was accidental stating, “We were out at the cabin for like, four days, and forgot the birth control.”

And while they were in the cabin, other than forgetting that not using birth control can get you pregnant, Levi Johnston and the baby mama were busy doing other fun things.

But it was love at first sight. Speaking of sights, looking through a gun sight was how they spent one of their first dates—bear hunting in the woods.

“Any woman who can hunt bears with me is a keeper. You can’t find those every day,” said Johnston.

Congratulations to Levi Johnston and Sunny Oglesby, the  bear hunting, gun-daughter-naming couple!

(Photo: Wenn)