These New Anti-Lego Slippers Need to Be on Every Parent’s Christmas List This Year

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There is in life perhaps no cooler toy than Lego. Lego is bright, educational, creative, gender-neutral, and relatively inexpensive, considering how long it lasts. Your kids can’t even outgrow it! Once a kid grows out of Duplo and into adult blocks, he or she will be able to play with them straight through until 90 or so, because Lego are awesome. In fact, Lego might be the perfect toy if it were not for the terrible, horrible pain of stepping on a little brick right in the soft part of your foot. We’ve all felt it, and it is terrible.

In fact I think the only more painful thing to step on–that probably won’t actually injure you or draw blood–is a four-sided die. Those are just tiny, pointy, hard plastic pyramids that are always laying pointy-side-up on the floor.

That”s why some creative genius at Lego–probably a kid who grew up playing with Lego and is now a total genius with like eight fancy degrees–developed the most important invention of the holiday season: Lego slippers for parents.

The fat, puffy, yellow and red slippers might not win any fashion awards, but if you wear them you will never again know the pain of the Devil’s trident jabbing directly into the arch of your foot. You can comfortably pad around the house in little cat feet, and if you step on a Lego, you will just walk right over it. I imagine that is what saints feel like. And heck, maybe they are fashionable after all! I mean, if you told me they were designed by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, I would believe you.

My parents say that one of the worst signs of aging is that the fat on the bottoms of your feet breaks down, and when you stand up in the morning it hurts your feet to stand on the floor. I think I’m going to need to invest in a pair of these for when I’m old. I’ll be 90 and playing with my Lego and wearing my anti-Lego slippers. As a bonus, they look so effective, they might even protect you from errant dice.

Unfortunately, according to CNET, they are not yet available for purchase. Only 1,500 pair have been made, and they are being given away at random to parents who create Lego wishlists on the Lego France website. So it looks like if we want our own, we’ll just have to build them ourselves.