Women's Issues

‘The Dark Side Of Feminist Parenting’ Is The Most Unintentionally Hilarious Thing You’ll Read All Week

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Screen Shot 2014-12-09 at 1.08.26 PMFeminists are the worst, right? Not only are we uptight and mean, but we are terrible parents. According to one Australian political columnist, what we want more than anything is to raise our children to be, “shirtless, tone-deaf, overweight, pizza-eating dummies.” It’s like he knows us, you guys.

Mark Latham of the Financial Review has written an entire column criticizing what he (and he alone) believes is the feminist model of parenting. Latham obviously disagrees with the saying that “the personal is political” and claims that everything from Barbies to how we urinate has become a political issue for feminists. And how do we indoctrinate the masses? Through the dreaded “mummy blogger.”

Quick aside, oh my God do I hate the term “mommy/mummy blogger.”

Anyway. Latham spends most of the column taking down one Sarah MacDonald, a feature writer (that’s what he considers a “mummy blogger”) for a site called Daily Life, which describes itself as, “the best online source of news and lifestyle content for busy Australian women.” Sounds treacherous indeed, Mr. Latham. Tell us of her nefarious plans to destroy our children.

MacDonald, according to Latham, wrote that while many parents try to raise their kids without gendered stereotypes, sometimes its hard to fight old habits like commenting on a girl’s looks by telling her how pretty she is. Latham’s analysis of this statement?

For any parent inclined to talk about their daughter’s appearance, the answer is clear: call her ugly.

Nailed it. Your analytical skills are truly something to be admired, Mr. Latham. Or, I could tell you that the point is not to place value on our daughter’s appearances (pretty or ugly) because they get too much of that from society already. But, whatever.

Latham also argues that MacDonald has a “prejudice against education” because she feels that too many mothers are the default parent who always helps their kids with their homework and knows where their favorite shirts are.

Macdonald, it seems, is unmoved by research showing parents actively involved in their children’s education help to improve their children’s academic results. If she sees a teacher walking towards her at school pick-up time, apparently she runs the other way. Her bare-chested children (having been unable to find their ­T-shirts that morning) are then forced to chase her down the street.

Ha! Right again! That’s why so many mothers end up helping their kids with their homework every night – because we don’t care how they do in school. Feminists are all, “I already did my time in school, kids. Sucks to be you.” Or, maybe what she’s saying is that mothers take on too much of the every day load with their kids, like homework, and that perhaps more of those thankless tasks should be shared with their partners? Nah. Never mind.

MacDonald also wants to mistreat children by recommending that women not refer to the time Daddy gets home as the “fun” part of the day. Taking her words not at all out of context, Latham says that MacDonald’s solution is:

…in divorced families, mothers are advised to “give their kids pizza every night”.

First of all, that sounds awesome. Second, I get the feeling that maybe she didn’t mean that literally. Maybe MacDonald was suggesting that moms get out there and do more fun things with their kids so they don’t feel shut out of the joyful parts of parenting. Again, however, I’m sure I’m mistaken.

Latham then summarizes his column with this:

What’s the net outcome of this social experiment? In the name of gender equality, left-feminism is breeding a generation of shirtless, tone-deaf, overweight, pizza-eating dummies – the opposite of what progressive politics is supposed to achieve.

I don’t want to say that Latham is prone to misinterpreting the words of others and then exaggerating the meaning of statements taken out of context to support his bias against feminism, but…no that’s exactly what I’m saying.

But what do I know. I’m just a “mummy blogger.”

(Photo: Twitter)