The Fastest-Growing Baby Name in the U.S. Wishes It Were Half as Cool as Darth Vader

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I take back everything bad I ever said about hipster food baby names like “Kale,” “Apple,” and even “Quinoa,” because these days those are sounding like perfectly normal baby names, thanks to the parents behind the fact that the fastest growing baby name in the U.S. is “Kylo,” after the shouty, dad-murdering bad guy in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

 According to The Independent, Kylo really is the fastest-growing name for boys in the U.S. right now. According to the Social Security Administration’s annual list of baby names, Kylo has jumped to number 901 on the list of frequently used baby names in 2017. It was 3,269 on the list in 2015, the year The Force Awakens came out.

Star Wars is wonderful, but why of all the names in the franchise would you ever choose Kylo?

There are so many good Star Wars names to choose from! Finn is a great name. So is Rey! And if you told me that the fastest growing name in the U.S. was Poe Dameron, I would say, “Fuck yeah, it is!”

See, Finn agrees with me.

Finn and Poe at least have plausible deniability if your kid grows up and doesn’t want people to think he’s named after a Star Wars character. (Poe could always be named after Edgar Allan Poe, if the kid wants to seem arty instead of nerdy.) Nobody is named Kylo Ren. Even Kylo Ren isn’t named that, because Kylo Ren’s real name is Ben Solo, and he’s just being a tool like when I went through my high school goth phase and told everyone my name was Shadow.

What are these little Kylos going to do in 20 years or so? I can only hope one of them tries to go into politics, because I want to see TV ads that say, “Paid for by Kylo Ren for Senate.”

One can only imagine that a lot of these kids are going to be going by “Kyle” in a few years.

What do you think of Kylo as a baby name? Let us know in the comments.