Housewife Kim Zolciak Celebrates Birth of Twins By Making Her Husband Drink A Placenta Smoothie

Kim Zolciak Biermann gave birth to twins on the season premiere of Don’t Be Tardy on Thursday, a baby girl, Kaia, and baby boy, Kane. I have never watched this reality show before but I know who Kim is because of her stint on The Real Housewives Of Atlanta. I am so behind on all the real housewives action unless you count my new favorite show, the brilliant and hilarious Hot Wives Of Orlando airing now on Hulu, which I demand you all go watch.

I’m pretty sure hot wife Tawny St. John is based on Kim Zolciak’s real life , because she even records her own song, just like Kim did.

So Kim gave birth to babies, and after they were born she had a PLACENTA specialist , and how you get that job I have no idea, who blended her placenta into smoothies. Kim said: ‘My friend told me that eating your placenta can help with postpartum depression and I can do anything for my babies.’ She also convinced her husband,  Atlanta Falcons NFL player Kroy Biermann to give the smoothie a try. He was less than enthused: ‘I love my wife and I will do a lot for her, but you might as well pick your nose and throw in some boogers. It has been inside of you,’ So Kim replied like any other woman trying to make her husband suck down a nice heaping helping of her body waste, and replied: “I just pushed out two of your children, one of whom was in breach, and my pussy is torn to hell because of it. You are drinking the fucking smoothie Kroy.”

THIS IS ALL THE EPITOME OF POST-PARTUM ROMANCE.

So they drank their smoothies and livd happily ever after in their 17,000 square foot mansion and I am real sad because I finished Hot Wives Of Orlando. The end.