Reports Of Kim Kardashian’s Pregnancy Cravings Make Me Thrilled I’m Not A Celebrity

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shutterstock_110572112Usually, being a celebrity sounds pretty awesome. The clothes. The money. The parties. It all seems like something I would be really good at. Until today when I read three different reports about what Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy cravings are. Then I realized that I am actually really happy I’m not famous.

I’m six months pregnant. I just ate a bowl of popcorn for breakfast. Well, multiple bowls. Okay, it was more like brunch – it is after noon. When my husband came home to the empty bag he said, “What happened to all the popcorn?” Of course I replied, “The bag wasn’t that big and I’m pregnant. Do we have any bacon?”

This isn’t something I want the world to know. I’m just telling you all to illustrate a point. Kris Jenner, Kim’s mom, talked to E! News last week and spilled about all of Kim’s pregnancy cravings:

“Pizookies. … It’s a giant cookie and I think it’s at BJ’s and I think it has ice cream on top, but right now it’s all about the Pizookies.” She revealed that the previous night found Kardashian wanting artichokes, Chinese chicken salad and french fries.”

As if the whole world isn’t already totally focused on the size of her ass, now her mom is going on TV to talk about her giant cookie cravings. Can you imagine? I would kill my mother. There would be some kind of pre-press briefing, informing the family to only say that I craved whole grains and celery.

I guess Kim doesn’t mind the pregnancy-diet-attention though, as she took to Instagram to brag about eating a McGriddle. I think I would rather brag about eating a deep fried Twinkie. Isn’t the McGriddle the most fattening food product that McDonald’s ever invented? For once, I’m kinda loving Kim. She’s admitting to being a human being. I like that. Pregnant women crave weird things sometimes.

The point is, can you imagine already wondering if you’re doing what’s best by your baby and your body – and having the whole world watching and countless articles devoted to whatever crap you decided to put into your mouth that day?

I’ll take my anonymous, un-famous life any day. Also – I kinda want a McGriddle now.

(photo: s_bukley/