Kim Kardashian Had Her Magical Babypalooza Shower Extravaganza Where People Dressed in Tablecloths

For those of you totally kurious, Kanye-The-Ghost showed up wearing a bleach spattered hoody pulled over his head as his DISGUISE from the paparazzi and it fooled one hundred percent of no one. I hope that a new reality series develops out of this whole Kim and Kanye fauxlationship that’s like a cross between Deal Or No Deal and The Amazing Race where Kim has to chase Kanye all over the globe while he dons more and more outlandish disguises to try and avoid her. But anyway, yes, Kim had her baby shower palooza in Beverly Hills and many wonderful and famous individuals who have made the world a better place for everyone, including Kelly Osbourne, Maria Menounos, NeNe Leakes and Mel B were in attendance.  It was like a virtual who’s who of Z-list celebrities and reality stars! There is no word on whether actual celebrities like Beyonce and Oprah lost their invitations in the mail or had manicure appointments and just couldn’t make it, but who cares because famous celebrity fitness trainer and notorious new mom baby body fat shamer Tracey Anderson showed up! It’s not a party until some skinny bitch shows up to make guests feel shitty about enjoying pancakes! From People.com: 

The group enjoyed brunch – noshing on pancakes, waffles and fruit – before playing games and guessing baby names. Guests left with wreaths made of baby’s breath in their hair.

They should have given guests T-shirts that read:

I WENT TO THIS SUCKY BABY SHOWER THAT WILL PROBABLY BE SHOWN ON THE E NETWORK AND ALL I GOT WAS A CROWN MADE OF WEEDS FOR MY HAIR.

I always thought that swanky famous people baby showers included like Oscar-level gifts bags full of swag like one hundred percent authentic Cubic Zirconium earrings and a buy-one-get-one-free spray tanning session. But I guess who needs gifts when the best gift of all is gazing at Kourtney and her beautiful dress made out of dead grandma tablecloths. Khloe wore a dress constructed out of dead grandma bed sheets, and there is a photograph of her and Lamar getting all handsy in a corner that I would love to show you, but I don’t have the rights to this picture but I do have this one:

And I hit Khloe’s twitter account to see if she had posted the PDA pic and all I got was this motivational drivel that is the type of thing some of my older relatives spam me with because they are totally unfamiliar with snopes.com:

Now that the kat is out of the Kardashian vag bag and we all know Kim is having a girl khild, I guess all we can do is hope that Kanye is around a little bit more frequently, because according to Papa Jenner:

 

“Actually, I have only met him once,” Bruce told Maria Menounos, who was shocked by his confession. “He’s never … he’s not around,” he laughed, adding, “He was in Paris the whole time writing, and he just hasn’t been around.”

So to recap, we have learned Kim is having a baby girl, NeNe Leakes possibly ate waffles, and Khloe believes everything she reads on the Internet. Best baby shower recap ever!

(Photos: WENN)