This Is the Perfect Twitter Thread for Anyone Whose Kid’s Love to Talk About Body Parts
Kids have an innate ability to embarrass the crap out of us in public. Their little brains tell them to do or say something, and the part of their brain that flashes a warning about TIME AND PLACE KIDDOS isn’t quite developed yet. This is never more apparent then when kids start learning about body parts. It’s the same when kids learn anything new! They want to show off and use that knowledge. Which is great … until your kid says something about your vagina in line at the market. Kids talking about body parts will never not be hilarious, and judging by this Twitter thread, every parent has had one of “those” moments.
Kids talking about body parts is awesome! Sex-positive parenting for the win. But talking about them loudly in a public bathroom? Well. Not as awesome.
Some people have woke toddlers, I have a toddler who informs women at the grocery store that sometimes his penis get big bc there’s blood in it.
— In Nicoled Blood (@Nicole_Cliffe) May 18, 2018
It happens, buddy! And I suppose it’s something to share … with strangers at a grocery store. Nicole Cliffe started this amazing Twitter thread, and it wasn’t long before parents started chiming in with their own stories of kids talking about body parts.
We probably shouldn’t laugh at them, no.
My friend’s 3 yr old daughter finished showering with her father and said to her mom: boys are different from girls. And we’re not supposed to laugh at them right?
— Martha Wellbaum (@amygdalalala) May 18, 2018
Donut, peanut, I’m sure those are pet names for it somewhere!
My toddler once announced “Daddy has a donut!” After a minute, she clarified that daddy has a “peanut.” (Daddy’s not sure which is worse.)
— Lowinchen (@lowinchen) May 18, 2018
Mommy milk does make them a lot bigger, so fair point!
My toddler once informed a large breasted woman on the bus that her breasts must be FULL of mommy milk!! 😳😳
— Mrs. Magoo (@ThisGroovyMama) May 18, 2018
Honestly, they’ve got it made in the pee department! They don’t even have to pull their pants down, and they can go anywhere.
Omg, I got in trouble in kindergarten because when we were talking about differences between boys and girls, I said that boys had holes in their underwear so they could pee more easily
— when are the stanley pup playoffs (@SonicBananas87) May 18, 2018
PITY IN HIS EYES!
My son was about 4 when he walked in on me getting out of the shower. He asked where my penis was, so I explained women don’t have a penis, etc. He looked at me and said, “Oh” WITH PITY IN HIS EYES.
— .kate practices bitchcraft. (@holdyourbutts) May 18, 2018
Give your kids the correct terms for body parts, and they will use them 100% of the time.
From the mall bathroom: "MOM, I NEED HELP CLEANING MY VULVA"
Yay for accuracy.
— 👻 LíviaRGH! LabateRRIBLE! 👻 (@livlab) May 18, 2018
Toddlers are the best and weirdest little creatures.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd and had boobs the size of melons and nipples like saucers my toddler son told me "I like your big, big nipples!" And I was like oh, oedipus, no.
— Felonious Skunk (@leezaboboeeza) May 18, 2018
All of these made me laugh till I cried. Here are my two that I can recall: in a VERY busy public bathroom with my daughters in the stall with me, my youngest yelled out, “Mama, your really big vagina isn’t bleeding anymore!” And once when I was shopping for sports bras with my oldest in tow, she held one up and said, “I don’t know mom, this one doesn’t look long enough for your boobs.”