Kid From TIME Magazine’s Breastfeeding Cover Is Totally Screwed

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are you mom enough?Okay, I’m just going to say it: that mother on the cover of TIME magazine’s crazy new cover is hot. Women wished they looked like her and men, well, I’m disgusted but not surprised to read comments out there on the world wide web along the lines of, “I’d suck that tit” and “Damn, I wish I were him.” (Gross.)

For those wondering, the cover model is 26-year-old Jamie Lynne Grumet. She’s not a model by trade, mind you, though she certainly looks the part. I actually have no clue what she does for a living, but according to TIME‘s “Behind The Scenes” blurbage, she’s a mother from Los Angeles who subscribes to attachment parenting (and she’s actually one of the subjects in Kate Pickert‘s cover story). As Grumet explains, “I grew up this way and never thought about raising my kids different.”

One of those kids is 3-year-old Aram – he turns 4 next month – who’s shown drinking milk from his mother’s breast. I feel terribly for this kid! Why? Because he is totally screwed. This photo will be around forever, and one day he’s going to be a teenager and his life will be hell. He will no longer be just the kid with the hot mom, but rather the kid who was photographed sucking on his mother’s breast at age 3 for all the world to see.

For the record, this is had nothing to do with attachment parenting or a woman’s right to breastfeed her child ’til she sees fit (that’s a whole other discussion). This is about a 3-year-old boy who, at his age, can’t comprehend what his appearing on the cover of TIME magazine will mean for him one day. And it ain’t pretty! He will be teased and ridiculed to no end. It doesn’t matter if Grumet finds it beautiful, and it doesn’t matter if Aram himself grows up one day to find it beautiful; he will one day be a teenager, and he will pray to god that nobody grabs hold of this cover (but oh, somebody will).

I know, I know, all that really matters is that Aram is loved, which he is so clearly is. But, hey, don’t tell me this won’t come back to haunt him one day. As one Twitterer so eloquently put it, “If you’d like to see America’s next great serial killer. He’s on the cover of @TIME magazine.” Couldn’t have said it better myself!