KFC’s New Sunscreen Smells Like Fried Chicken, Because Greasing Kids Up All Summer Wasn’t Gross Enough Already

ByElizabeth Licata

 

Someone in the KFC marketing department is starting to lose it, guys. Yesterday the company announced that it was going to help prevent kids from becoming “extra crispy” by rolling out a new sunscreen that smells like fried chicken. So you can smell like greasy food without even having to eat it yourself.

I don’t know, that seems backwards to me. I want to eat the fried chicken and not smell like it, not smell like fried chicken without getting to eat it.

Obviously, the KFC Extra Crispy Sunscreen is a marketing stunt, but it’s also a real product. It’s a broad-spectrum, SPF 30 sunscreen that really will protect people from the sun. It also really will make them smell like fried chicken. That wasn’t a joke.

”KFC Extra Crispy Sunscreen is an actual product. KFC Extra Crispy Sunscreen is not a food product. NOT a food product. Do not eat this product. Even though this product smells delicious, it is not delicious. The only skin that should be extra crispy this summer is on your fried chicken,” the KFC Extra Crispy Sunscreen website warns.

The Extra Crispy Sunscreen was a free giveaway, but while they had 3,000 bottles to give away, it looks like a lot more people than expected wanted to smell like fried chicken, because all 3,000 bottles have been claimed.

Also, it takes 8 weeks for delivery, so all the lucky sunscreen winners will have to wait until October to wear chicken-scented sunscreen.

”The sun gives us life. But if we’re not careful it also gives us painful sunburns. That’s why we made KFC’s Extra Crispyâ„¢ Sunscreen,” the site reads. ”Harmful ultraviolet rays bounce off your skin while the lovely fragrance rays penetrate it to give you a healthy chicken aroma.”

Greasing up kids with sunscreen is always a bit of a chore. They struggle. They’re slippery. They’re sandy. It’s like, “Oh my god, hold still so I can put the sunscreen on you, or you’ll get a sunburn and we’re going to have to do this whole wrestling match again with the aloe vera before bed.”

Maybe chicken-scented sunscreen would help, though. Kids are weird. Maybe they’d hold still for the prospect of smelling like deep-fried meat. Impress your friends! Attract neighborhood dogs! Actually, this is starting to sound pretty good. I would wear a sunscreen that made me attractive to cute puppies. Shoot! I wonder if I can still get a bottle on eBay …

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